


Dark Side of Me

by ReyloRobyn2011



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Devoted Reylo, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fallen Angel, Fallen Angel Kylo Ren, Guardian Angel Ben Solo, Pining, Slow Burn, attempted suicide, guardian angels au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:47:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9768920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011
Summary: Ben Solo is Rey’s guardian angel, always watching over her. Until he goes too far in order to save her. Now he’s a fallen angel and he can’t help that he has fallen in love with the girl he is trying to protect.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shwtlee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/gifts).



The first time Ben laid eyes on his assignment he felt an instant connection. He hid in the shadows of the orphanage where the tiny infant was left on the doorstep. He hovered over her small form, arms and legs flailing about in time with her screams. He moved swiftly to the door laying a loud knock upon the solid oak. He gave the infant one final look before disappearing into the shadows once again.

He would be watching, always watching. Ben was her guardian angel and he would always protect her.

***

He watched over her as she grew older. He was a constant presence in her life. Oftentimes, he saw her looking in his direction as if she could see him, but that would be impossible. To her, he was nothing but a shiver up her spine or the wind in her hair.

She lived in the orphanage for most of her childhood. It was a lonely life. The woman that ran the orphanage named her Rey. The name suited the girl for when she smiled, as rare as those smiles were, it would light up a darkened room.

Ben followed her, always just steps behind. She attended classes at the public school that was a ten minute walk from the orphanage. She always walked with her head down. The other children cast her out. Rey put up a strong front and met them with an icy glare. The whispers that spread behind her back angered Ben. He found himself taking less than proper actions against them. A drink spilled onto a boy’s lap, making him look as if he urinated himself. And the girl that told Rey she would never be loved woke up one morning to find her braid cut off.

She was still so very young and the teasing was relentless. He often found her locked in the stall of the bathroom weeping into her hands. His little Rey, always the strong fighter against the demons of her world. She could be weak in front of him.

Ben would occasionally hear her thoughts. He wondered if every guardian angel had this ability with their assignment. He wiped her tears as her thoughts assaulted him. _Just a few more months until I'm 18 then I can move out. I can leave this place for good._

She was planning on leaving; it was probably for the best. She could start over. He felt his heart clench at the thought of her being genuinely happy. She didn't deserve all the loneliness and torment that life had dealt her.

So Rey left. She packed up her few scattered belongings and left in the middle of the night without a word.

He followed behind like the dutiful guardian he had become.

***

She found a renter that offered her a room. He let her stay for free in exchange for labor. Rey was handy with machinery and repairs. Growing up in the orphanage had made her proficient in many different areas.

The room wasn't much, yet it was all that she needed. It came furnished with a bed and a small chest of drawers. The attached bathroom was also small and smelled like mildew. He gave Rey a gentle nudge to her mind, influencing her thoughts.

“I'll need to bleach this bathroom before I use it,” she said aloud.

She stood in front of the grimy mirror with her arms crossed over her chest. Ben came behind her wrapping her up with his large black wings. The delicate gold threads woven in his wings shimmered in the dim lighting. She shivered against his chest.

“I can feel you.”

Ben looked into the mirror at her face. She seemed to be staring back at him although there was no reflection of him in the mirror.

She sighed and moved past him to the small bed. She crawled under the covers and tossed fitfully until she finally succumbed to sleep.

***

Every night he watched her sleep. Sometimes she appeared peaceful which made him extraordinarily happy. Other nights she had nightmares. On those nights he would crawl into her bed and hold her to his chest until her breaths evened out.

He began to notice the change in her body, the swell in her breasts and the sway of her hips. His Rey was growing into a beautiful young woman.

He couldn't even begin to understand the tightening in his chest when he looked into her eyes or the feeling of possessiveness that overcame him whenever she interacted with anyone.

She was mostly alone, the very definition of an introvert. Selfishly, he liked that he had her all to himself, even if he could never have her in the way he truly wanted. She could never know him. She would never know the lengths he would go through to keep her safe. It stung him deep in his heart to know that he could never have her. She was _his_ yet she would never really be his. The very thought of someone else coming into her life and loving her made him irrationally angry. He _should_ be happy, grateful even. But he was selfish and wanted her all for himself. If only she could _see_ him, _touch_ him.

It was a dream, one that could never be.

***

Rey had gotten herself a job waiting tables at the restaurant across from the apartments. She made decent money and started furnishing her room with accents that made her feel at home. Everything seemed to be going right in her world. Ben was happy for it.

As always, he followed behind as she made her way to the restaurant. She was working the late shift tonight and it was already pitch black outside.

She walked the streets at a brisk pace; he could feel the fear rolling off of her in waves. Ben tried to comfort her by sending soothing feelings over their mysterious connection.

The only sound in the alleyway was the click of her heels against the pavement. It was eerily quiet which set Ben on edge.

Rey stopped suddenly, staring in front of her with fear dancing behind her hazel eyes. He felt the increase of her heartbeat and the sharp inhale of breath. He looked in the direction of her stare. There was a man standing in the shadowy corner of the alleyway watching her. Ben sensed her thoughts. _Danger_. _Stalker_.

He felt rage well up in his chest. With a swipe of his hand, the man was propelled into the brick wall. Rey gasped in shock at the odd behavior the man suddenly inhibited. Ben pushed a thought into her mind. _Run. Get out. Now._

And run she did without looking back.

***

That night, Rey locked herself in her bathroom for hours. It was awkward enough whenever she undressed in front of him, oblivious to the fact that her guardian angel was watching her. She was even more oblivious to the fact that he had fallen in love with her. So he respected her need for privacy even though she never knew it was being invaded.

She had been in there far too long.

Ben debated with himself for a few more minutes before relenting. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke and materialized in the bathroom. Rey was laying on the floor with an empty bottle of pills in her limp hand. She was barely breathing. Ben ran to her, lifting her body off the floor and holding her over the toilet. He compelled her to retch the contents of her stomach.

_Why love? Why would you do this to yourself?_

He brushed the sweaty hair off of her face. Ben couldn't resist it any longer and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Rey touched the spot that he kissed before speaking out loud.

“Who are you? Are you real?”

She was looking into his face. But how? She couldn't see him. Could she? He decided to test the waters.

_I'm Ben._

“Ben?”

_Can you see me?_

“No, I feel you. Am I hallucinating?”

His heart dropped at the knowledge that he was still invisible to her. It was too good to be true. He suppressed the sob that threatened to spill from his chest. _She could never be his._

As much as his heart ached at this moment, Ben knew he needed to take care of her. Rey was always his first priority and nothing would ever change that.

She was slumped over the toilet with her cheek pressed against the seat. Her eyes were hooded. Ben scooped her up into his arms, one arm supporting her back while the other curved under her knees. She laid her head on his chest and sighed.

Her lovely eyes were closed as he carried her over to the bed. He gently placed Rey down and nestled her under the covers before crawling in beside her.

He would always have this. He would always have her in _this_ way. He gathered her into his arms, wrapping his wings around them both.

He couldn't stomach what had just happened and how he’d almost lost her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and nuzzled her neck.

“Ben?”

He lifted his head to look at her. Her eyes were still closed.

_Yes Rey._

“I didn't really want to die.”

He tightened his grip on her.

_I won't let you die._

“Ben?”

_Yes_

“Who are you?”

_Someone who loves you._

She let out a little snort before replying.

“You would be the only one.”

Oh, how that hurt. How could anyone not love this beautiful woman? What he would give to truly be with her. The way some mortal was sure to be someday. White hot jealousy surged through his veins at that thought.

“What's wrong? You feel … upset?”

Ben needed to control these emotions.

_I want you to be happy._

“Don't you understand? I can't. I'm broken.”

_That's not true. You are lovely. Can't you see that? Can't you see, that to me ... you are perfect._

“It's good to know the figment of my drug induced mind finds me tolerable.”

Once again, his heart stung. He thought they had made a connection, that maybe she could learn to love him too. He should have known better; she could never love him.

He rubbed his fingertips up and down her back. He noticed she was still wearing her work uniform. He pushed the blankets off of her body so he could reach her feet. He gently slipped her heels off and placed them in the corner. Next, Ben grabbed the waistband of her skirt and pulled it down her legs. It took a lot of courage to pull her blouse over her head. There she was laying in her bra and underwear. He retrieved a large shirt that she used to sleep in and returned to her side.

He reached around to her back to unhook the bra and pull it off of her. It wasn't the first time he had seen Rey naked. He had actually seen her naked countless times. However, he felt awkward undressing her while she was asleep. He only allowed himself a quick peek at her breasts before he pulled the shirt over her head.

At least now she would be comfortable, he thought, as he pulled the blankets around her body. She laid on her side with the covers tangled around her.

Ben hovered over her watching her lovely face as she slept. Each intake of breath pulled at his heartstrings. His beautiful Rey. How could she not know how wonderful she is? He pressed gentle kisses on her eyelids and down her jaw. This was all he would ever have. Finally he let the tears spill. The ache in his heart making him double over. He let his hand slide down her arm, feeling the silky smooth skin.

“Ben?”

He startled at her interjection.

 _Rey_.

“Why are you sad?”

He glanced at her beautiful face once more before answering.

_I'm sad that this is only a dream._

She would wake up the next morning believing it was all a lucid dream.

He would continue to keep to the shadows, always watching. Always guarding while trying to mend his broken heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben goes too far in order to save Rey.

Just as he suspected, Rey woke up the next morning remembering nothing of the night before. To her it was a dream; to him it was a cruel twist of fate. A reminder of a life he could never lead. He needed to accept this outcome. Accept that he would always have her in his life, just not in the way he longed for. He pulled the grief inside of his heart. He would let it fester there; choosing to keep it locked away until the inevitable breakdown.

He watched as she made her way to the bathroom. He turned away from her, blushing profusely when she pulled the shirt off and tossed it on the floor. Unable to resist the temptation, he shamefully watched her retreating form. Couldn't help but to stare at her round bottom in her tiny panties. He grimaced at himself and looked away again. He shouldn't be gawking at her.

He brushed a hand through his dark, curly locks while spreading his wings to their full capacity. His muscled arms outstretched along the length of his wingspan.

Rain splattered against the window, stirring him from his daze. The wind howled and shook against the building. Ben walked over to sit upon the window seat. This was one of Rey’s favorite places. She would often curl up with a cup of tea and a book. Losing herself in the fantasies, giving herself a temporary escape from her troubled life.

He sat with his knees pulled up to his chest. His chin rested on the palm of his hand. Ben looked out the window; watching the storm swirling around outside. The gray clouds cast a dark gloom over the city.

He stayed that way until she emerged from the bathroom carrying something tucked away in the palm of her hand. Upon further inspection he identified it as a small package of white powder. His heart sunk at the realization.

No, not his Rey. How could she? Why? How did she even get the drugs?

She made her way over to the window seat and poured some of the powder onto the surface. She pulled out a razor blade to line the powder up.

Ben couldn't sit here and watch her do this to herself. With a wave of his hand the windows opened like a door, clashing against the walls. Rey startled at the interruption, jumping from the window seat. She dropped the little package spilling the remaining contents onto the surface of the seat. She cursed out loud before moving towards the mess. Ben manipulated the rain to change direction and flood the window seat. He then used his power to scatter the powder into the dark, swirling storm outside.

Rey fell to her knees in grief. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. He sent a thought to her mind, reassuring her.

_Drugs aren't the answer. You will find a healthy outlet. You will find happiness. My love._

He dropped to his knees in front of her, encircling her with his dark wings. Her sobs began to even out with the pounding of his heart.

He held her in his arms, surrounding her with his love and affection. The gold strands in his wings shimmered and flickered against the black.

Thunder roared and she shook in his arms. He brushed her hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger in her chestnut hair. He gathered her locks into his his hand before smoothing it over her shoulder. He traced his fingertips up and down the delicate skin of her spine.

He relished the little shiver she gave beneath his fingers. He felt her head slump against his solid shoulder. Ben clutched the base of her neck, sliding his fingers along her jaw until he reached her chin. Using his pointer finger, he lifted her chin to stare down at her face. Her lovely hazel eyes were closed, her pretty pink lips set in a little pout. He felt the little puffs of breath on his face. She had fallen asleep on him.

Ben carried her to her bed once again. He would never tire of feeling her warm body against his. He slid her under the covers making sure to tuck them around her body. He let his hand linger under the covers. He circled the jut of her hipbone with his thumb.

She was so warm and soft beneath his fingers. He pressed a chaste kiss to her temple before pulling her into his arms. It had become routine to hold her while she slept. It was the one time she could be truly _his_.

***

Ben did not like the way the man from the shadows looked at _his_ Rey. It seemed the warning push he gave the man wasn't enough to keep his lecherous eyes off of her.

He could feel Rey’s discomfort rolling off of her in waves. She found the man repulsive. He felt her puzzlement over the man’s apparent interest in her. His Rey thought so lowly of herself. If only she knew the strength of his love for her. This man on the other hand … it would seem Ben needed to take more extreme measures.

Rey walked by his side as they made their way towards the restaurant. Suddenly, he heard her thoughts calling out to him.

_I need you. I need your help. Ben, if you're real, if you're here. I need you._

Hope swirled in his gut, he could prove to her that he's real. She could love him in return. Somehow, someway it would work. Maybe if she believed, maybe she would be able to see him.

The man smiled viciously at her as he made his approach. Ben stood protectively in front of her with his wings outstretched. His hands clenched tightly into fists by his sides.

“Hello sweet thing, what would it take to get you to come home with me?”

The man smacked his lips at her as his eyes trailed over her body. Ben's anger intensified, his nails were cutting into his palms from how harshly he was clenching his fists.

“I'm sorry, I'm not interested,” she replied.

That's _his_ Rey. Always so strong and smart. She moved to continue towards the door when the man grabbed her arm roughly.

“Let go of me!”

The man put a cloth over her mouth as she struggled. Before Ben could get to her, she slumped into the man’s arms.

The rage coursing through his veins threatened to explode. Every window in the surrounding buildings shattered, throwing shards of glass directly at the attacker.

The man screamed in agony as blood dripped into his eyes. His hold on Rey ceased, causing Ben to rush to her side, easing her down to the ground. He brushed the hair out of her face as he reassured her.

_I've got you, I won't let him or anyone else hurt you. Ever. My love._

Ben looked up at the man, his eyes burned red. He gritted his teeth as he stood. This man tried to take _his_ Rey. He didn't even want to fathom what the man had planned to do to her. This man--no, he was hardly a man, this _monster_ would learn what happens when you drug young women, when you take something that doesn't belong to you.

A darkness surrounded Ben, simmering under the surface of his skin. His hands found their way to the man's neck, tightening and squeezing like the body of a snake. _Mine. Mine. She's mine._ His fingers dug into the man’s neck. The gagging and gasping sound escaping from him brought Ben immense pleasure.

He briefly released the attacker from his hold; not out of sympathy--oh no, he wanted to make the man suffer. Ben would take his time and relish every cry of pain.

He squeezed again, feeling the pulse throbbing against his fingers, releasing to allow the man to gasp for breath before squeezing once more. Finally, when he grew tired of the torture, he snapped the man's neck with a deafening crack leaving him in a pile on the pavement.

The haze of rage began to dissipate, clearing his mind allowing him to run to Rey’s unconscious form. He gently lifted her head off the ground resting it on his chest as he slipped one arm around her back and the other beneath her legs.

He lifted her into his arms and walked across the street and back into her apartment. He laid her on her bed and left her to sleep off the effects of the drug.

His hands shook as he paced the room. He could have lost her, _again_. He mentally berated himself. _Failure_. She deserved a better guardian. One that could protect her from the simple evils. He could hardly protect her from her self destructive tendencies. Perhaps if his theory is true, if she is able to see him when she wakes, maybe then she will be free from all that torments her.

Rey began to stir from her spot on the bed. Ben rushed over clutching her face with both of his hands.

“Ben?”

Her eyes were still closed, yet he felt her fingertips brush along his knuckles.

_Yes my love, I'm here._

“Ben, you saved me? You're really here?”

_Yes, let me prove it to you._

He leaned forward pressing his lips against her own. Her eyes fluttered open aiming to focus in on his face when--

Pain … red hot flashes coursed through his body radiating through his wings. He backed up falling over himself to put distance between Rey and himself. His wings, they felt as if they were on fire. Scorching, burning, singeing. Unbearable pain, what was happening? Why was this happening?

A voice in his head provided the answers he desired.

_For he is the minister of God to you for good. But if you do that which is evil, be afraid; for he bears not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath on him that does evil._

Panic set in at the realization. He was being cast out, removed, he would be ruined. His wings disappeared and in their place a large ornate tattoo etched itself across his back. He felt the sting of his skin as the tattoo wove itself deep along his spine and shoulder blades.

Nausea rolled through his stomach causing him to heave. He ran to the bathroom emptying the contents into the toilet. When he rose he caught his reflection in the mirror. _His reflection_. How could that be? He turned to look at his back in the mirror. Spanning the length of his shoulders was a tattoo of his wings black as night with golden shimmers threaded within.

In the center of his back, just between his shoulder blades was a name. This name, it would be his from now on. He had committed one of the deadly sins. He had committed _murder_. That very act was the reason he had now become a fallen angel. His wings stripped from him, his very identity wiped clean. From now on he would be known as _Kylo_ _Ren_.

Upon exiting the bathroom, he glanced over to Rey’s direction. She was sleeping soundly in her bed. He quietly made his way out the front door before leaning against the frame.

Where was he to go now? What was he to do?

He didn't regret the murder. How could he? Suddenly, a realization blossomed in his heart. He finally understood what this meant for him.

_She can see me now. She will finally be mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The voice he hears is a verse from the Bible Romans 13:4
> 
> Comments are gold! I love hearing from you.
> 
> Thank you to my awesome beta ns0241!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren finally comes face to face with Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have fan art and a beautiful aesthetic! 
> 
> Check out Boomdafunk's wonderful art of Guardian Angel Ben  
> http://boomdafunk.tumblr.com/post/157485964446/reylorobyn2011-boomdafunk-i-am-soooooo-in-awe
> 
> My wifey Shwtlee4Reylo drew this gorgeous art of Fallen Angel Kylo Ren and his tattoo  
> http://shwtlee4reylo.tumblr.com/post/157539845982/guardian-angelben-or-fallen-angelkylo-ren-and
> 
> And once-upon-a-reylo made this stunning aesthetic that I can't get over.  
> https://once-upon-a-reylo.tumblr.com/post/157591962335/reylorobyn2011-requested-dark-side-of-me

Kylo Ren walked the grimy streets of the city in the dead of night. Confusion swept over him at what he should do now. The last thing he wanted was for Rey to wake up with a strange man in her bed. Although he wasn't a stranger that is how she would perceive him.

He wondered if he still had his power of persuasion. He only ever influenced Rey’s thoughts in a positive way. He never abused that power to control her even though he _could_ have.

He could test the limits now; see if his theory rang true. A man bumped into his shoulder before apologizing and skittering away. Kylo furrowed his brow. Was he really that intimidating? He glanced down at himself; he was all lean, solid muscle and milky white skin. Perhaps the strange look the man had given him before averting his eyes was due to his lack of shirt. Kylo was walking the streets in nothing but a pair of black trousers.

Well he would rectify that now. He walked briskly to the shabby thrift store on the corner. He walked in and browsed the aisles looking for a few articles of clothing. He picked out a few black t-shirts, a black hoodie, sweatpants and a few pairs of jeans. These would do for the time being.

Kylo made his way to the counter placing his items in front of the sales clerk.

He looked the man in the eyes before saying, “You will give these to me.”

The man's eyes glossed over as he responded, “I will give these to you.”

The clothes were bagged up and handed over to Kylo without question. He felt a certain amount of guilt for using his gift in such a selfish way, yet he knew it would take a great deal of effort to adjust to the ways of human life. It would take time and unfortunately, he wasn't a patient man.

He made the brisk walk back to Rey’s apartment building. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and hold her tightly. However, he could no longer indulge in those activities. Those were merely fantasies now.

Kylo approached the front door of the building, shuffling his feet with nervous energy as he reached for the doorknob. He pulled open the door and walked inside. The hallway was eerily quiet at this time of night. The lights flickered occasionally casting his shadow against the wall. It was a strange realization that he now has a shadow. He is alive and walking amongst the masses. No longer a fly on the wall, observing from a distance.

He knew where he needed to go. He wandered down the hall in search of the door that would bring him to what he sought. Kylo arrived in front of the metal door with the word _office_ inscribed across the front. He gave two solid knocks against the door and waited.

The man that appeared was overweight and as ugly on the inside as he was on the outside. This man was Rey’s renter. Kylo always had a sense of foreboding when it came to him.

“What do you want?”

 _Yes this man certainly had a way with people_ , Kylo thought sardonically.

“I need a room and you will let me stay here free of cost.”

“You need a room and I will let you stay here free of cost,” he muttered emotionlessly.

“Thank you Mr.- what is your name?”

“Plutt, Unkar Plutt.”

“Thank you Mr. Plutt.”

***

His room was conveniently next door from Rey’s. It was the mirror opposite of hers. Kylo brought his bag in and set it on the counter in the small kitchen area. There was a shabby couch against one wall and a full size mattress in the corner.

He approached the wall that he shared with her room, pressing up against it with his hands before leaning his forehead to the wall. If he stayed like this, perhaps he could _feel_ her.

Kylo closed his eyes as he concentrated on the energy in the room next door. He could feel her presence. It was bright, so very bright. He missed her. Oh how he missed her. He wanted to hold her in his arms, smell her hair, and kiss her face.

 _Soon_ , he told himself. He had to be patient; he would win her over then she would be his. He pushed off the wall and collapsed on the mattress. He wondered how she was sleeping, if she was suffering from nightmares. Kylo wanted to be in her bed; he had grown accustomed to being with her. He didn't like all of this distance between them.

Tomorrow was the start of a new day, a new life. He could only hope that when he finally sees her, and she sees him, that she will just _know_.

He felt a burning in his eyes as he struggled to keep them open. His mind began to settle. _What a strange sensation_ , he thought as his eyes closed and he slipped into a deep sleep.

***

Kylo woke the next morning wrought with confusion. He had actually fallen asleep. He had always watched how peaceful Rey’s face looked while she slept. He never considered that he would one day experience what it felt like to fall into unconsciousness. It had been rather peaceful.

He rose from the mattress making his way over to the bathroom. He turned to glance at his newly acquired tattoo across his back. It felt odd to miss his wings. This was another change he would have to grow accustomed to.

Kylo closed his eyes and reached out to feel for Rey. He didn't feel her presence in her apartment. He could only assume that she had already left for work. This gave him the perfect opportunity to guarantee that their paths cross. He will finally get to see Rey and in return she will _see_ him.

That very thought made his heart flutter in his chest. He dressed quickly in his jeans and a black shirt. Kylo ran a hand through his dark, curly hair and glanced at his reflection one last time before making his way to the front door.

Nervousness stirred in the pit of his stomach. This meeting had to be perfect; it was far too important. His hands shook by his sides. He took a deep breath before finally finding the courage to walk out the door.

***

The sun was shining brightly in the sky. Kylo, always a believer in fate, felt that it was symbolic of _his_ Rey of light.

He hoped she would recognize him; know him by the feel of his aura, the unspoken devotion to her. He was fairly confident that she would. The very moment he had pressed his lips to hers before his fall, her beautiful hazel eyes had fluttered open. She had to have seen him, hadn't she?

He placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he thought about the small taste he’d had of Rey’s pink lips. There would be plenty more time for that, he was sure of it. His fingers brushed against a folded paper in his pocket. Pulling it out, he recognized what it was.

Humans used this paper as a monetary device. Kylo mentally berated himself; he hadn't thought to acquire any money. That would be something he would have to amend in the near future. This particular bill seemed to be enough for him to buy breakfast at the restaurant. His continued good fortune was perfectly timed.

He walked into the restaurant, scanning the room for his Rey. He didn't see her amongst the many patrons and employees in the restaurant. He walked up to the hostess situated at the front of the entryway.

“Hello,” Kylo said.

The young woman look flustered as she stammered her next words.

“H- hi, just one today?” Her cheeks pinkened at his heady gaze.

“Hmm, yes. Just me. If Rey is working, I would like to be in her section, please.”

The woman scowled before she fixed her face in a forced smile. Kylo wondered what she could possibly find so offensive about him. Humans were strange.

“Follow me sir,” she replied.

His eyes took in the restaurant as he followed the hostess to his table. He had never paid mind to his surroundings when he was watching over Rey. It was always… _Rey_.

He sat down as the woman handed him the breakfast menu.

Her hand lingered on his bicep as she leaned in and said, “If there is anything else I can do for you, you know where to find me.”

“That won't be necessary, Rey will take care of whatever I need,” he replied as he looked at his menu. _Strange humans._

Kylo scanned the menu, not really looking at the words, and waited patiently for Rey to come to him. He glanced at the far end of the restaurant. There she was, looking as beautiful as ever.

She was smiling that rare bright, sunny smile as she poured orange juice into a little girl's cup. He watched as she dropped the pitcher of orange juice back off at the drink station.

He couldn't help but ogle her as she walked. He could see the slight swell of her breasts peeking out of the v-neck of her blouse. Her long, lean legs were just as golden as he remembered. When she turned around, he could see the curve of her round bottom. Her hair was pulled back into her traditional three bunned style. Oh how he longed to undo those ties and run his fingers through her chestnut hair.

Finally, Rey walked towards him. He ducked his head behind the pages of the menu. His cheeks burned in embarrassment, hoping she hadn't caught him staring.

Anticipation wrapped around his heart causing it to beat erratically. _She's here, she will be able to see me. She will finally be mine. Mine, mine, mine. All mine._

He felt her approaching, her beautiful light tickling his senses. His fall had left him feeling so dark and alone but being this close to her once again made him feel comforted and at home. Kylo wondered if she felt the same way in his presence.

His heart pounded in his chest in time with the sound of her approaching footsteps. She stopped in front of him pulling out a notepad and pencil.

Without looking up she started speaking.

“My name is Rey, I'll be taking care of you today. What can I get you started off to drink?”

She finally lifted her eyes to look into his, those bright, beautiful hazel eyes. The eyes of the woman he had fallen in love with. Eyes that saw the world for what it was, and had seen nothing but darkness, yet still harbored a light deep inside the recesses of her heart. The eyes that somehow always felt as if they were looking into his very soul; the same ones that had shed so many tears and still managed to look just as enticing as ever. The eyes of a strong, beautiful woman. _His_ Rey.

However, once those beautiful hazel eyes met his deep brown ones, there wasn't even an ounce of recognition simmering behind them.

“What can I get you,” she repeated with a smile on her pretty pink lips.

His heart ached as he held back the tears threatening to spill.

“I'll have a water,” he replied.

_She doesn't know, she isn't mine. She will be… she will be…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta Ns0241, you are amazing. 
> 
> Thank you to Shwtlee, Boomdafunk, and Once-upon-a-reylo for the gorgeous artworks and aesthetic. 
> 
> Thank you RacheyMaybe for starting a playlist for this fic! I will be more than happy to share that with everyone once she's finished :) 
> 
> Thank you readers for all the support!


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo swallowed nervously as she smiled at him with that sunny smile, so rare but here she was, _smiling_ at him. Rey could see him. He had to remind himself what a great feat that truly was. Even though his heart shattered when she didn't recognize him, he recovered quickly.

“I'll be right back with that water. Let me know if you have any questions about the menu.”

“Of course,” he replied.

He watched her walk away, trying not to be too obvious as he glanced down her retreating form. He loved the way her skirt hugged her hips. She was a natural beauty. No one in the world was more beautiful than _his_ Rey.

She turned the corner and was out of sight once again. He frowned and began scanning the menu. None of these items made any sense to him, never having had the _need_ to require sustenance. This was all new territory to him.

He was too distracted by the menu to notice the woman standing beside him. She slid into the booth next to him and placed her hand on his arm. Kylo pulled his arm away and snapped his head around to glare at the unwanted intrusion.

“What is it?” He asked with annoyance.

The woman glared back at him with hurt.

“Hi, I had a break from the host stand so I figured I'd come introduce myself. I'm Chelsea.”

She stuck out her hand and he wasn't sure what she wanted him to do with it, so he continued to stare at her like she was a crazed person. He thought she must be, talking to strangers the way she was.

As Rey started walking back with his glass of water she looked at, _what was her name_ , with confusion.

“Chelsea?” Rey questioned.

Ah that's right, that was her name. Chelsea grabbed his arm and gave Rey a little smirk. He knew this woman was harboring some strange fascination with him. He would have to nip this in the bud and quickly.

He pulled his arm away again, giving Rey a look of desperation. She seemed to take his cue.

“Chelsea, what has the manager told you about flirting with the customers?”

She turned her glare to Rey before responding, “I don't think he minds, do you--”

“Oh I mind,” he replied.

Chelsea jumped up in embarrassment and shuffled away towards the host stand.

“I'm so sorry about that,” Rey said while she placed the water in front of him. “Did you have any questions about the menu?”

He gave her a kind smile. “Honestly, I'm not sure of what I want. What's your favorite?”

She smiled at him as she looked over his shoulder at the menu.

“Well, I'm partial to the pancakes. Those are my favorite.”

He closed his menu and handed it to her. “I'll have the pancakes then.”

“Are you sure?” She giggled.

He loved to hear her laugh; that was so rare these days.

“Yes, I trust you.”

“Alright, do you want some scrambled eggs and hash browns too?”

He furrowed his brow before asking, “Do you like them, are they good?”

She tried to stifle her chuckle, “Yes they are quite good here. I'll go ahead and put your order in.”

“Thank you, Rey. I'm Kylo by the way.”

“Kylo,” she repeated. “Well it's nice to meet you, Kylo.”

She turned to leave but gave him a bright smile before disappearing into the kitchen. His heart soared. He had to admit that had gone much better than he had assumed it would.

He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited for her to return. An idea formed in his head while he waited; one that could solve more than a few of his problems.

When Rey returned with his food, she placed it on the table in front of him and asked if he was needing anything else. Kylo grabbed a napkin to wipe his mouth before replying.

“Actually, I'm rather new in town. Are you by chance hiring? I'm in need of an occupation.”

Once again she stifled a laugh, “Yes, well, we are almost always hiring. I can put a good word in with the manager if you'd like?”

“Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you, Rey.”

“Well, try the pancakes,” she replied eagerly.

He wasn't sure of how to go about eating them. He grabbed the fork and used the edge to cut a piece of before piercing it and bringing it up to his lips. He kept his eyes locked with Rey’s hazel ones as he closed his lips around the fork.

His tongue was assaulted with the most delicious flavor. So this was what eating was like? He had certainly been missing out. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he let out a small contented groan.

“I take it you like the pancakes?”

He set his gaze upon her face once more and replied, “Absolutely, you are certainly very wise.”

“Well I'm glad you are enjoying them, I'll be back to check on you in a little bit.”

He hated watching her leave, yet she always took his breath away with her beauty.

Once he had paid for his meal he stood to leave. Rey was stacking the plates and utensils on the table. He grabbed her elbow lightly to get her attention.

“Rey, I would love to see you again. I don't know anyone in town. Would you--would you like to see me again?”

Her lips pressed into a straight line. Oh, he had pushed too far. Too fast for his lovely girl. She surprised him with her response.

“Yeah, I think that would be okay.”

His eyes bugged out, she wanted to--

“Really? Wonderful. How can I contact you?”

“Well I get off of work at 5 and I'll go home and shower. Then maybe we can meet in front of the restaurant at 6:30? Does that sound good?”

“That sounds great, truly.”

He grabbed her into his arms for a quick hug, and oh did it feel different. She was warm and his skin seemed to tingle where it made contact with hers. She was rigid in his embrace but as he started to loosen his hold she relaxed and wrapped her arms around his waist to return his hug. He had never felt her arms around him before; it was magical.

“Okay, I'll see you Rey. Bye.”

“Bye Kylo,” she smiled.

Kylo walked past the host stand and the woman standing there handed him a piece of paper and winked at him. He gave her a curious look before rushing out the door.

Once outside, he opened up the folded paper. There was a ten digit sequence of numbers written on the inside. He shrugged his shoulders and threw the paper in a nearby trash can. He didn't have time to figure what that code could mean, and frankly he didn't much care.

***

Kylo knew he would have to commit some corrupt acts in order to prepare for his evening with Rey. He had a guilty conscience, but deep down he knew it would be worth it. He needed Rey in his life more than his virtue.

He made his way through the crowds of people, swiping wallets from a few different individuals. They were none the wiser. Once he got back to his apartment, he set the wallets on his bed as he opened them each and unloaded the contents.

He had enough money to buy a few essentials, but first, he had an idea that would surely please Rey.

Kylo chose one of the wallets and placed all of the bills inside neatly. He glanced around his apartment once more before taking to the streets once again.

_What time is it?_ He realized the first purchase would have to be a watch. If he wanted to meet Rey on time, he would need a method for telling what time it is. The first store he went to had a large selection. He bought the cheapest version. He didn't understand how some of these watches cost upwards of $200. How utterly ridiculous.

He scanned the aisles of the store, picking up the essentials that he needed. Soap, shampoo, paper plates, towels. He was a little overwhelmed with the amount of items he needed. _He needed everything._

He looked at the remaining money in his wallet. He thought he had a lot, but it seems money in the mortal world doesn't go very far. He had just enough left to buy a nice button down shirt and the surprise he had planned for Rey.

He picked out a solid gray button up shirt. It would go nicely with his black trousers and boots. He wondered what Rey would be wearing. Glancing at his new watch, he saw that it was already 4:40. He needed to get back to the apartment so he could take a proper shower with the products he had purchased.

***

Kylo wiped his hand over the foggy mirror. It was such a strange sensation to be able to see his reflection. His hair framed his face in soft curls. He dressed hurriedly. After glancing at himself once more, he was satisfied with how he looked.

***

When he pushed the door to the flower shop open, a bell chimed over his head. An older woman greeted him with a bright smile. _Her smile had nothing on Rey’s._

He knew just what he wanted and he let the woman know. He left the shop with a beautiful bouquet of Rey’s favorite flowers.

He arrived in front of the restaurant with a few minutes to spare. Kylo checked his watch nervously as he shuffled his feet. If he had to wait much longer for her, he was sure to lose his mind. What if she had gotten hurt, what if something happened to her? Oh how he missed being a constant presence in her life. Perhaps, if everything went according to plan, he would be able to be a constant in her life once again.

His head lifted at just the moment that she turned around the corner. He let his eyes take in her appearance. Beautiful Rey, this gorgeous woman. She had dressed up for him. She wore a black dress with white polka dots. A belt cinched at the waist that let the material flow over her hips. She wore her black leather jacket over the dress, and short black heels.

Her eyes met his as she approached him.

“You look--gorgeous.”

Her cheeks pinkened at his compliment. Was she blushing, _for him?_

“Thank you, Kylo.”

“Oh,” he said, as he pulled the flowers from behind his back. “These are for you. I hope you like them.” _I know you will. They are your favorite._

She gasped as she took the flowers from his hands. Her hazel eyes lit up with astonishment.

“Irises? These are my favorite. Kylo, thank you.”

_Yes I know, sweetheart._

“Is that so? I thought they were almost as beautiful as you. They only serve to compliment your loveliness.”

Her blush deepened further.

“You sure do have a way with words, Mr. Ren.”

He took one of her hands in his and brought it up to his mouth. He pressed a soft kiss upon her knuckles.

“Oh please, call me Kylo.”

“Alright, Kylo,” she replied. “So what would you like to do? There's not much to do around here but I think we can find something fun to do. Don't you?”

“Certainly.”

He grabbed her arm and let his fingers trace lightly over her jacket to reach her hand. Their fingers interlaced as they walked the streets hand in hand. The warmth of her hand sunk into his bones. He felt a wonderful sense of belonging when their skin touched and wondered if she felt it too.

“You know, this might sound crazy, but I get the strangest feeling of deja vu around you. It's almost as if I've known you before, maybe in another life. I don't quite know how to explain it. Please don't go running for the hills now,” she looked away in embarrassment.

“No, no,” he said as he grabbed her chin in his hand. “Don't be afraid, I feel it too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Irises represent "hope" which is a major theme of this story. 
> 
> Also, the song "Iris" is basically my personal theme song for this story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey spend some time getting to know each other.

Kylo Ren could not believe his luck. Here he was, walking hand in hand with the woman he loves. She would occasionally peek up at him, giving him a small smile. Oh how that made his heart race. In her other hand she clutched the irises to her chest. He was pleased that she loved her gift. Yet, he found that he felt a certain amount of sadness as well. She would never know how much thought was really put into that gift. To her, it was just a coincidence. To him-- it was years of knowing everything about her; her likes, her dislikes. He knew that she often times cried herself to sleep. His lonely, beautiful girl. And when he was there, when he was still invisible to her; he could wrap her up in his arms until her sobs slowed and she fell into a deep sleep.

His thoughts were interrupted by Rey’s sweet voice.

“So, where are you from anyway?”

And that was a question he hadn't put much thought into.

“Not too far from here,” he paused for a moment before changing the subject. Anything to avoid completely lying to her about his identity. “So what do you do for fun around here.”

She outright laughed.

“This city is notoriously boring. However, I think I have a few ideas for what we can do for fun.”

He smirked at her as he replied, “Lead the way.”

***

She had brought him to a secluded part of town. They walked for a good part of an hour before reaching an abandoned water tower that was no longer in service. The outside was covered in graffiti. The steps to the tower were boarded up at the bottom; Rey asked for Kylo's help to boost her over the top of the boards. He did so without question.

Her hands held onto his shoulders as he grabbed her waist to bodily move her over the blockade. Kylo pushed himself over with ease.

“That is so much easier with someone so _strong_ to help me over,” she remarked. “Come on, the view from the top is amazing.”

“Alright Rey.”

Once they were at the top of the tower, Rey clutched tightly to the handrails as she looked over.

“It's so freeing up here. I like to pretend I'm a bird that could fly far, far away.”

“Are you not happy here, in this city?” He couldn't help but to ask, anything to hear her voice.

“I don't have very many happy memories here. I wish I could leave, never look back. But I don't have anywhere else to go. I'm barely making ends meet as it is. One day though, one day I'll escape this place. I'll go somewhere beautiful.”

Her eyes were taking in the night sky, littered with the smog from the surrounding city. What he would give to show her the stars. He knew her eyes would light up at the shimmering night sky. He would show her, one day.

“I’d take you somewhere, _anywhere_. Wherever you want go, I'd take you there.”

She chuckled as she gently slapped his chest. He caught her hand in his and placed it over his heart.

“You don't even know me Kylo,” she said sadly.

_Oh but I do, my love._

It hurt his heart every time he was reminded of his absence in her life. He would rectify that, he would make her his.

“I _feel_ like I know you, Rey.”

It wasn't exactly a lie, he _does_ know her. Her eyes watered at his admission. His Rey, his perfect Rey. He gathered her into his arms, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. And how wonderful it felt to have her in his arms once again.

Her face was buried in his chest, and for the first time he felt her arms wrap around his waist. He had never felt her reciprocating his embrace. The feeling was overwhelming, his blood boiled hot. He stifled a sob from escaping his chest. He couldn't cry in front of her. He couldn't be weak.

Kylo took his hand and wiped away the solitary tear that slid down her cheek. He moved to sit down against the wall of the tower and brought her down with him. She curled up into his side, his arms encircled her body and his head resting on top of hers.

“You know, I've always been alone. All my life. But I never _felt_ truly alone. I always felt as if someone was with me. Maybe it was my hope to someday have someone that cares for me. Then last night, something happened and I felt cold and alone. Truly alone, for the first time in my life. I felt empty, like I lost something I didn't know I had. It was agonizing and numbing. But then, you walked into the restaurant. After we talked it was as if something flared inside me. I don't know how to explain it.”

He knew, oh how he knew what she was explaining. She had always been far more observant than the average mortal. Somehow, this gorgeous woman was able to feel him. Then once he fell, she felt his absence.

He wanted to kiss her, would it be too early? Would he scare her off? The urge was a tingle in his fingers, aching to reach out and grasp her cheeks. He imagined what it would feel like to grab her chin and bring her lips up to his own. Those soft, lovely, pink lips.

He let one of his arms settle on her hip. His free hand brushed the hair out of her eyes. She looked up at him with affection. She pursed her lips in an adorable little smirk. _He wanted to kiss those lips_. Would she let him? He looked into her hazel eyes for any sort of recognition, did she know that he's still Ben? Her Ben. Maybe the kiss would make her see.

He rubbed the apple of her cheek with his thumb in swift circles. Kylo made a decision, one he hoped he wouldn't come to regret. He cupped her cheeks with both hands and brought his lips down on hers.

They were just as soft as he remembered. Of course, last time he was denied the passionate embrace and shared lustful feelings.

Rey deepened the kiss by pressing her tongue into his mouth. The soft, slick brush of her tongue against his drove him mad. Kylo lowered her to the ground and settled his body on top of hers. He continued to kiss her sloppily, sucking the breath from her lungs. She pulled away, panting in his face. But then she was pulling him down by his hair and attacking his mouth again.

He was kissing her, his Rey, his beautiful Rey. His tongue explored her mouth, touching and tasting her. Oh how he wanted more, he wanted all of her. _Patience_. He had to have patience. He was practically a stranger to Rey, and he wouldn't take advantage of her loneliness for his own selfish means. He needed to enjoy this beautiful gift she was giving him. She allowed him to kiss her, and that would be enough.

She pulled away once again to catch her breath. Her head fell back onto the metal flooring of the water tower.

“You are very good at that,” she told him with a grin.

He rubbed his nose against hers and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

“So are you,” he replied.

She ran her hands down his back before letting them rest on his ass. _The little minx_. She looked at him with innocence painted on her face. He couldn't help it, he leaned down to kiss her again.

“We should probably get going, sometimes the cops patrol this area. I don't want to get caught trespassing. That wouldn't do either of us any favors,” she said.

Kylo pushed himself off of her and grabbed her hands to help her up.

“Where to next?” He asked with a smirk.

“I think I know just the place,” she replied.

***

Railroad tracks. His Rey was always full of surprises.

“Come on,” she said as she pulled him towards the tracks.

She laid down across the tracks, pulling him down with her. They held hands as they stared up at the starless sky.

“Laying here, with the possibility of a train coming, it gives me a rush. It makes me feel alive,” she admitted.

He remembered this about her. On her lowest days, she would come to this very spot. He would watch from a distance, and when the lights from a train broke on the horizon he would nudge her mind, telling her to _move_.

“There are other ways to feel alive,” he offered.

She looked at him as she asked, “What did you have in mind?”

His lips crashed on hers again. He could not get enough of the taste of her lips. She kissed him back passionately. Before he knew it she was taking his hand and placing it on her breast.

He kissed her neck as he fondled her.

“Please, keep touching me. Make me feel alive. Make me feel wanted.”

His hand froze on her breast as he looked up into her eyes.

“You are wanted, sweetheart. I want you. You have to know that.”

“Kylo, you keep saying these things, but you barely know me.”

Irritation grew at her insistence. He _does_ know her. He knows her better than anybody.

“Your favorite flowers are irises, your favorite color is green, you like to watch rainstorms, your favorite season is autumn, you like to watch those silly lifetime movies, you lose yourself in your favorite songs, you like to dance in your apartment when you think nobody's watching. I know that you love to read, I know that your favorite book is “Little Women,” I know that you like your bagels with cream cheese not butter.”

Her eyes grew wide but he couldn't stop himself from speaking.

“I know that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and the world has no idea how extraordinary you are. I know this because I know you. I know you Rey, I know you better than anybody could ever hope to know you.”

He took in her shocked expression, did she realize? He was mentally screaming to her. _It's me. It's Ben. I'm **your** Ben_.

He leaned down to kiss her again but she dodged his kiss.

“No, don't. Who are you? How do you know me? Are you stalking me? How could you possibly know all of that.”

No, no, no, this was going terribly wrong. He had pushed too hard, said too much. Oh no, he was going to lose her again.

“No, Rey, it isn't like that.”

She jumped to her feet and started to walk away.

“Please Rey, let me explain.”

“NO!” She screamed at him, oh how that shattered his heart.

“Don't follow me, I don't want to see you. How could you do this? If you were interested in me you could have just approached me.”

Kylo panicked, he grabbed her arm gently, “Wait, please. Let me explain. I can explain.”

“HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS KYLO, HOW?”

Oh she was livid with him. Her anger simmered behind her eyes.

“It's me Rey. It's me.”

He hoped she would understand.

“What are you talking about Kylo?”

He was silent, not having the courage to tell her. She turned with irritation as she began to walk away. If he didn't say something-- right now, he would lose her, possibly forever. He couldn't have that.”

“It's me Rey, it's Ben.”

She froze in her spot, turning slowly with that look that he had so desired. The look of recognition, the look that said _I_ _remember_. Her hand clutched her heart as she breathed in sharp gasps.

He walked over to her as she looked into his eyes and truly saw him.

“Ben?” She asked.

“Yes my love, it’s me. It's your Ben.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she lost consciousness. He caught her in his arms before she could hit the ground.

Kylo held her in his arms with one hand supporting her back while the other held her legs. Her head rested on his chest. He carried her through the streets and back to her apartment.

He couldn't help but wonder if he had made things better or worse with his confession. He watched her face as he tucked her into her bed and waited for her to wake up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the support for this fic. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey demands to know who Kylo really is.

Kylo waited patiently for Rey to wake up. He watched her calm face as she slept. Each inhale she took released with a shuddery breath.

Had he just ruined everything? His thoughts plagued him; wondering if he had admitted too much too fast. Would he lose her before he even truly had her? The thought sent shivers up his spine. He couldn't lose her now, not when he got the smallest taste of her. Not when he _finally_ got to kiss her soft lips. Not when he felt the round swell of her breast in his hand. He wanted more, he wanted _everything_.

Why had he insisted on telling her everything? Rey now thought of him as a stalker. That word cut him deep in his heart. He wasn't a stalker. Couldn't she see? He was put on this Earth to protect her. He was placed here to watch over her. It was hardly his fault that he fell in love with her. Anyone would fall in love with her if given the opportunity. That thought sent a red hot flame of jealousy coursing through his veins. No, no, he wouldn't allow anybody else to fall in love with her. She's _his_.

Rey curled up on her side as she continued to sleep soundly. Kylo couldn't help but to kneel at the side of her bed. He couldn't help but to brush the hair out of her face; and it took everything in his being to not kiss her cheek. He wanted to, oh how he wanted to. He had enough common sense to know that Rey wouldn't appreciate that. Not now that he is mortal or at least some form of mortal. She would be furious. She probably already is furious.

So he waited and watched her as she slept. Much like the many nights when he was her guardian angel.

***

She started to rouse from her sleep, blinking her eyes as she regained consciousness. Kylo swallowed as he watched her rise up in bed. She rubbed her eyes as she looked around. That is-- until she made eye contact with him.

The fury emanating from her eyes could kill him on sight. He raised his hands up in defense and backed away from the side of her bed.

“Who are you really? How long have you been watching me? I need real answers, Kylo. Don't bullshit me.”

He brushed a hand through his dark curls as he looked at her with sadness in his eyes.

“I'm Ben. I wasn't lying. I'm your Ben.”

She rose from the bed completely, walking towards him with curiosity and a little bit of fear in her eyes.

“And who are you Ben? Or what are you? Are you a demon? Have you been haunting me?”

He was shocked by her questions. A _demon_. How could she think that of him? He was always here to help her. He cared for her; he would never haunt her.

“I'm not a demon Rey. I'm your-- I'm your guardian angel.”

He surveyed her face as she took that in. Rey's eyes widened before she sat down clutching her heart.

“Well, I was your guardian angel. Before I…”

He paused, suddenly unable to come up with the words for what he had done. He didn't regret it, no he would never regret it.

“Before you what?” She asked with a look of apprehension upon her beautiful face.

He looked at his hands as he tried to work up the courage to admit his sins. Would she fear him? Would she hate him?

“Two nights ago, in the alleyway, there was a man. He tried to--”

He couldn't even say it. His teeth gritted and his fists clenched tightly.

“He drugged you, so I killed him.”

Rey was silent for a moment. She looked into his eyes; he hoped she saw his sincerity.

“You,” she began. “You saved my life. That was you?”

“Yes, my love.”

“But then what happened? How did you? I don't understand?”

He moved towards her; wanting to be closer, wanting to hold her. She shrunk away from him. And oh how that hurt.

“I would never hurt you, Rey. Please trust me, I will try to explain everything.”

She nodded at him, accepting his outstretched hand in hers.

“Rey, can I attempt to _show_ you what happened? I believe I should be able to if you'll let me touch your face.”

She nodded her head again as she replied, “Okay, that's fine. Do what you must.”

He clutched her cheeks in his hands and leaned his head against hers. From there he thought about a few different memories of how he helped her when she was younger.

An image of a six year old Rey walking out into the street only to be tossed back when a car came barreling down the street.

14 year old Rey hiding in her room and crying after the kids at school told her nobody loved her. Ben showed her what he did to those kids. An image of them sitting in detention for their cyber bullying antics. Ben had left the teacher's computer open to their group chat where they bad mouthed Rey.

Rey from just a few days ago when she brought out that packet of powder.

Rey in the alleyway when the man was trying to take her.

Then he showed her how he carried her back to her bed. Then-- the pain, the disappearance of his black wings; and in its place, the tattoo of his wings with his new name. _Kylo Ren_.

“What happened to you? You saved my life. So you lost your wings? And now, I'm able to see you?”

He swallowed nervously as he answered, “It appears that I went too far in order to save you. I committed a sin. I murdered that man. I don't regret it though. I may be a fallen angel now but at least it allows me the ability to touch you. It allows you to actually see me.”

“Can you show me? The tattoo, can you show it to me?”

Nervously, he started to unbutton his shirt at the neck. She stopped him with her hands and began unbuttoning it for him. Once she got to the bottom she pulled the shirt out of his slacks and unbuttoned the last button. She grabbed one of his hands and unbuttoned his cuff then grabbed his other hand and did the same.

He watched as she took in the pale skin and muscle showing through the parted button up. She ran her hands from his chest down to his abdominals and then back up to wrap around his shoulders. She helped him to shrug off his shirt, it hit the floor, suddenly forgotten by the two of them.

Her hands went around his neck as she laid a gentle kiss against his lips. Tentatively, Kylo held onto her hips as she kissed down his neck.

“My savior,” she whispered into his neck.

Kylo took his hands and sunk his fingers into her hair. He brought her mouth to his again as he devoured her lips.

“Oh my love,” he said.

She pulled away only to thread her fingers through his dark curls and pull him forward to kiss him again. Then as she stepped back she replied.

“I'm ready to see it, if you are ready to show me.”

He nodded to her; yes it was time. He turned around to show her his back. Her tiny hands ran along his shoulder blades. Her fingertips traced the swirls of gold embedded in the dark wings of his tattoo.

“It's beautiful. They look like your wings. How they looked in the vision. I'm so sorry you lost them.”

He turned to reach for her face; his thumb rubbed circles along the apple of her cheek.

“I don't care; it allowed me to be with you. Don't you see how lonely I was. How painful it was to watch you but to remain unseen. I would have done it, just to be in your life. But this-- this is so much better.”

He kissed her deeply, tracing his tongue along the seam of her mouth. Rey opened up for him, letting the tip of her tongue meet his.

Kylo pulled her over to the bed and laid her down gently on her back. He climbed on top of her settling his hips between her thighs. He kissed her; over and over. He was a man dying of thirst and she was his water source.

As much as he wanted everything from her, he knew it was best not to rush anything. He rolled off of her and grabbed her waist. He nuzzled his head against her neck, pressing a chaste kiss on her smooth skin.

“Will you let me hold you? I have missed this.”

“You used to hold me?” She asked, as she looked over her shoulder at him.

“I did, most nights. I just couldn't help myself.”

Her hands came down on top of his own. She interlaced their fingers as she settled into the pillows.

“You were the one to chase away my nightmares? Is that it?”

“I believe so, yes.”

She smiled into her pillow; a genuine bright smile. The ones that were so very rare. It made his heart skip a beat. Could it be for him? He was a selfish man, he knew that much. Wanted her all for himself, yet here she was-- smiling and welcoming his embrace. Could it be that he is making her happy in return? It's all he has ever wanted for his Rey. Happiness, love, and companionship.

“I'm having a hard time believing this is real; I have a fear that one day I'll wake up and you-- and all of this will have been just a dream.”

“I can assure you, Rey, that won't ever happen. I will never leave you.”

“Can you tell me again? I want to hear you say it.”

“Say what, my love?”

“I want to hear you say that you love me,” she said.

“Oh Rey, I love you. I love you very much. And I've loved you your whole life.”

“Again, I need to hear it again.”

“I love you.” He kissed her shoulder. “I love you.” A kiss pressed into her neck. “I love you.” He grabbed her face and turned it towards him so he could kiss her lips. “And I'll never stop loving you.”

She fell asleep in the comfort of his arms. Kylo wrapped her up in his warmth. It was once again an entirely different sensation from what he had become accustomed to. Having her in his arms in _this_ way, it made him feel complete. He was no longer lost and empty. No longer was he living in the shadows, watching from a distance as his heart broke with every reminder of what could never be.

But now, could it really be possible that he could have everything he's ever wanted? His dream was becoming a reality right before his eyes. In a way, he had given up forever; given up eternal life, all for the opportunity to touch her. He breathed in the scent of her hair as he settled in beside her. His eyelids felt heavy as he slipped into a deep sleep.

***

Kylo awoke the next morning with Rey draped over his chest. Her leg had swung around his hips. Her hand was wrapped around his neck. His arms were wrapped around her lower back. He had only ever slept once before yet this sleep had been the most relaxing and refreshing sleep he'd ever had. He wondered if it had been the same way for Rey.

He kissed her temple before brushing the hair out of her face.

“Wake up, beautiful,” he whispered.

Her hazel eyes fluttered open.

“Good morning, my protector.”

He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face and, to his delight, she smiled right back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta Nori!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey shows Kylo some of the simple joys of living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not beta'd. All mistakes are my own.

Kylo awoke to the scent of Rey’s shampoo; his nose pressed into her hair as he pulled her tightly into his chest. He cracked an eye open to take in the darkened room. Shadows danced across the walls as cars drove past; their headlights shining through the window.

Her body was warm against him, and so very small. He ran his hand down her side, gliding it over the swell of her bottom. He laid kisses along her shoulders and neck. She began to stir; turning to lay on her back and opening her eyes to take in his heady gaze.

“Good morning,” she said.

He couldn't help himself. He cupped her cheek as he leaned in and pressed his lips gently against hers, featherlight.

“Good morning my love.”

She smirked at him as she stretched her arms over her head.

“I didn't get to tell you, I talked to my boss about hiring you. He's cool with it. Lucky for you, he doesn't ask questions. He will pay you under the table.”

“Under the table?” He asked. _What does that even mean._

She rubbed her thumb along his furrowed brow.

“Don't worry about it, we will get you all set up. In the meantime, do you have a place to stay?”

He wanted to say no; yet he couldn't find it in himself to lie to her.

“Um, don't get mad,” he started as he sat up in her bed. The sheet fell down to his waist exposing his toned chest.

“What?” She asked as she sat up.

“I sort of moved in right next door.”

She shook her head in confusion as she tried to make sense of what he had confessed.

“But how? How can you afford that; come to think of it how could you afford breakfast?”

Kylo looked down at his hands like a scolded child. Rey would not like what he was about to admit. She wouldn't like it at all. Rey was many things; but taking advantage of someone, or stealing; these were things she was above. She would never stoop as low as he had. He hoped she would understand his reasonings.

“I may have compelled Mr. Plutt to rent me the room-- free of charge.”

“You what? Kylo you can't do that! He needs that room to turn a profit. You are cheating him out of his investment.”

“I'm sorry Rey, it was either that or sleep on the streets. And I needed to be close to you, I don't think you understand how hard it was to be away from you when that's all I've ever known. It wasn't like I could come back to your room. You would have sliced my face open with a kitchen knife if you found me sitting on your couch.”

She seemed to ponder over that and nodded in agreement.

“Well you're not wrong about that. But I want you to tell Plutt you are moving out.”

Kylo began to panic; but before he could voice his concerns, Rey interrupted him.

“You will move in here. Don't get too excited Kylo. I'm not doing this for you, it's the right thing to do. You can't go around manipulating people.”

“Of course Rey. I won't do it anymore.”

She was silent for a moment before asking, “Have you ever manipulated me, influenced my mind?”

He swallowed the knot that formed in his throat.

“I have. But listen Rey, you have to listen.”

She was fuming as she grabbed a pillow and hit him over the head with it.

“Ow Rey, stop. Listen to me please.”

She hit him again before setting the pillow down and crossing her arms over her chest.

“It was for your own good, it was never anything nefarious.”

“Like what? I want examples.”

“The drugs Rey. I told you that you didn't need them. That you were stronger than that. You are, you don't need those to ease your pain.”

She suddenly stopped fidgeting and turned her back to him.

“No, please. Don't turn away,” he said as he reached for her arm.

“Don't touch me,” she snapped. “I'm going to take a shower. You should go talk to Plutt.”

She got up and walked to her bathroom with speed. He heard the click of the lock and the water running.

Kylo wondered what he had done wrong.

***

The talk with Mr. Plutt went relatively smoothly. Kylo ventured to his room and brought over his few possessions. Once everything he owned was in Rey’s apartment, he grabbed his keys and returned them to Plutt’s office.

Back in the apartment, he sat on her couch waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. The water stopped running. He waited nervously, his hands clasped in his lap.

The door to the bathroom opened; steam from the shower escaping as she appeared. She had a towel wrapped around her body. Her wet hair fell to her shoulders. He absentmindedly licked his lips at the sight of her.

Rey walked past him without meeting his eyes. She walked over to her dresser and picked out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. She finally turned to look at him.

“Can you-- turn around?”

“Oh, yes. Of course.”

He turned his back to her to give her the much needed privacy. Guilt riddled his stomach as he thought about the many times he had inadvertently invaded her privacy.

“Is there somewhere you would like to go? I don't have work today. So we have all day,” she said.

“Whatever you would like Rey.”

“Okay, but you're new to this human thing. So is there something you would like to do?”

“I don't know.”

“I'll think of something,” she offered.

“I’d like that,” he said.

***

“Where are you taking me?” He asked as she held his hand and walked him towards the train station.

“It's a surprise,” she smiled.

“I've never been on a train, Rey.”

“I know. Now come on, we are hitching a ride. We have to hurry.”

She was practically running as she led the way to the train. He followed behind dutifully. Rey slipped her arm through his as she walked over to the stopped train.

“Come on, follow me. And try to be as quiet as possible.”

Kylo was confused by her actions, but he continued to follow behind her.

“Okay, now,” she said as she pulled him along.

Rey swung her leg over the railing to the train car; Kylo did the same. She opened the door and ushered him inside.

“What are we doing? Why didn't we pay?”

“I told you Kylo, we are hitching a ride. Now come.”

She pushed him further inside the cart selecting a seat by the window. They were in some sort of storage compartment.

“How is this different from what I did?” He asked. Kylo was genuinely confused.

“Kylo, what you did was stealing from people. We aren't hurting anyone back here. We aren't even in the main carts where the paying customers are sitting.”

She walked over to and sat beside him. Rey grabbed his hand and brought it up to her lips. She kissed each of his fingers before bringing his hand to her neck. He could feel her pulse jumping under his fingers. He tilted his head to catch the glint in her eyes. They sparkled with affection. Kylo took his other hand cupping her cheek. He brought his lips down to hers, pressing a light kiss on her lips.

Kylo pulled her onto his lap. She straddled him as she licked at his lips. He opened up for her and let his tongue slide against hers. This was heaven, being in her arms, his tongue in her mouth. It was hard for him to believe that this was his new reality.

She pulled away, leaving him achingly hard and wanting. He willed himself to calm down; he could wait, he _would_ wait. Whenever she is ready, he will be there to shower her in love. She already owns his heart, his very soul. If he were honest with himself, he'd admit that he wanted to show her that in the most intimate of ways. He wanted to share that deep connection. He wanted to feel her warm body flush against his. He wanted to know what it would feel like to be inside her, finally.

He shook the thoughts away; those thoughts were doing nothing to help his _situation_. They rode in comfortable silence. Kylo held her in his arms as he watched out the window at the cityscape off in the distance. The scenery had changed from the dark and grimy city to the lush countryside. He wondered again where Rey could possibly be taking him.

***

The train stopped in a small town. One that looked familiar to Kylo, but he just couldn't quite put his finger on where they were. Rey walked with him hand in hand as they made their way down the narrow sidewalk. It led to a small ice cream parlor. One that Kylo had definitely seen before. Memories of a tiny Rey assaulted him.

_Six year old Rey looking through the window at the parlor. Her mouth watering as she stared at the scoops being placed on cones and given to her classmates by their parents. Tiny Rey that didn't have but a few quarters in her pocket. Little Rey that got laughed at for her dirty clothes and messy hair by her classmates. Kylo-- or rather Ben, back then had pushed the ice cream into the one child’s eyes, while flicking the other child's treat out of his hand. Then he had influenced the shop owner to give little Rey a small ice cream cone._

Rey had taken him to her home town. The one that had left her feeling broken and lonesome. Why? Why would she take him here? As if hearing is thoughts, she answered.

“Have you ever had ice cream before Kylo?”

“No, I have not.”

“Let's get some.”

She pulled him into the little parlor. It was a hole in the wall little joint. The man behind the counter was the same one from the memory. Albeit, much older now.

“What do you want?” She asked while turning to him.

“Whatever you're having, love.”

She smiled and turned back to the store owner.

“We will have one cone, with two scoops of the cookies and cream.”

***

Outside of the parlor, Rey sat on Kylo's lap as she took her first bite of the ice cream. She held the cone up to his mouth and encouraged him to try it.

He leaned in and licked the ice cream. It was-- cold, and sweet.

“Do you like it?” She asked with a smile on her pretty pink lips.

“Yes, it is quite good.”

“Here, have some more,” she said as she held the cone closer to him.

Kylo leaned in again to take a bite when she shoved the ice cream against his lips and nose.

“Rey, what are you--”

He couldn't finish his sentence because Rey had grabbed his face and started kissing and licking the ice cream off of his lips. Her tongue was cold against his and she tasted sweet. He devoured her lips with sloppy kisses. The ice cream was quickly forgotten, falling to the ground as her hands cupped his neck and his wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

She broke away to catch her breath. He couldn't help but to think how beautiful Rey looked at this very moment. His hand ran down the expanse of her back.

“I want you so much my love,” he confessed as he leaned his forehead against hers. “I've wanted you in every way possible, and I know you aren't ready. I need to be patient. But I can wait, I'd do anything for you.”

“Let's head back home,” she said as she reluctantly climbed off of him.

They walked back to the train station, the weather had turned brisk as the sun started to set. Kylo took his jacket off and placed it over her shoulders.

After the two had successfully snuck back on the train, Rey looked over to him with heat simmering in her eyes.

“You say I'm not ready, and maybe I'm not. But I trust you. I think I'm more ready than you know.”

She grabbed his hand and slipped it under her shirt until he was cupping her naked breast in his hand. He brushed his thumb over her nipple as she gasped.

“Let me try something,” he asked.

She nodded in affirmation. Kylo pushed her shirt up to her armpits. He then pulled her bra down to expose her perfect breasts. He hadn't seen them in a while, and he internally scolded himself for even thinking that thought.

“Beautiful,” he said as he sealed his lips around her nipple.

He sucked at her breast as he tweaked her other nipple. Rey clutched his head against her only serving to encourage him further. He pulled off with a soft pop before he moved over to her other breast, giving her stiff peak a lick before latching on and suckling.

She was moaning and writhing beneath him. She needed more, something else to help her get _there_. He unbuttoned her jeans and slipped his hand inside. He rubbed her through her panties until she was panting and pushing his hand away.

“Too sensitive,” she said.

“Did that feel good?” He asked as he helped pull her bra and shirt back into place.

“Yes, incredible. But, what about you?”

“Later,” he said. “We have all the time in the world for that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... the author has a breast kink. I'm dedicating that scene to my partner in crime and wifey Shwtlee.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey begin a routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up!

It has become a routine, Rey not only let him into her apartment but she let him sleep next to her. Kylo woke morning after morning curled up around her body, and it was the greatest gift he had ever received.

After a few days of domestication, Rey approached Kylo with a smirk on her face.

“So, I’m still able to get you that job working at the restaurant. If you would like to do something instead of staying here all day. We can both be making some money.”

The possessive side of him rather liked the idea of working alongside her. It was torment waiting in the apartment for her to return from work. He felt like a child, and it wasn’t a great feeling. He wanted to be good to her, in all ways.

“I am still interested,” he agreed.

“Great, then let’s get showered and ready to go.”

She turned and walked to the shower leaving the door open in the process. Kylo wasn’t sure what that could mean. Was it an invitation? The last time few times she had gone to shower she deliberately locked the door behind her.

Feeling emboldened, he walked into the bathroom and headed to the sink. Rey was already behind the curtain of the shower. He wiped off the mirror that had started to steam. He pulled out the toothpaste and toothbrush from the drawer. Rey had shown him how to brush his teeth, and it was still new and strange to him. The minty flavor of the toothpaste felt weird in his mouth. He did have to admit that his mouth always felt refreshed and clean after brushing.

Once he was finished he opened the drawer and deposited the toothbrush and paste inside. The drawer closed with a light thud.

“Kylo?”

He spun and panicked for a moment that she was going to yell at him for invading her privacy. _Yet again._

“Kylo?” she asked again.

“Yes, love.”

“Come into the shower.”

“You want… what?”

“I said to come into the shower.”

_Come into the shower._

“Are you sure? Rey?”

“Just get into the shower, Kylo.”

He pulled off his sleep pants and t-shirt, leaving them in a pile on the floor. He gently pulled back the curtain taking in the sight of her wet hair cascading down her back. He stepped in and stood behind her wrapping an arm around her waist while the other rested on her hip, circling the jut of her hipbone.

“Your skin is so slick when wet,” he mused.

She chuckled and traced the droplets of water on his forearm.

“Can I ask you something?”

He laid a kiss on the crown of her wet head, “Anything Rey.”

She lifted her arm and reached behind her to sink her fingers into his dark waves.

“You seemed kind of _experienced_. Have you done this before?”

His arm around her tightened, “No.”

“But how did you know-- what to do, I mean.”

He really didn't want to explain this to her. Surely she would look at him with disgust at the degenerate he is.

“Kylo?”

It would seem that being honest would be the best course of action.

“I sometimes watched you. But I didn't intend to invade your privacy. I was just… curious.”

“You watched me touch myself?”

He slid his head down to the top of her back, just between her shoulder blades.

“I'm sorry, it was wrong of me.”

Her body shook with her laughter.

“What's funny?”

“Oh it's nothing, I should be angry. But for some reason I'm not. I'm almost flattered.”

“You should be, you're beautiful.”

He began kissing her neck, his wet curly hair tickling her cheek. She leaned her head back on his shoulder.

“And you learned just how to touch me, you know exactly how I like to be touched. Because you’ve studied it. Is that right.”

He sucked a bruise into her neck as he responded. “You could see it as such. I tried not to intrude.”

She grabbed the hand that was gripping her hip and pushed it down to the spot between her thighs.

“We can learn together,” she said.

“I would like that,” he replied.

***

They tumbled on the bed, still damp from the shower, yet neither of them seemed to care. Kylo kissed her into the pillows, his tongue licking at her mouth begging for entrance. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her feet crossed at his lower back. She looked beautiful in her bare skin.

He was already painfully hard, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to rush this. He wanted it to be perfect. His Rey deserved the very best. He kissed down the column of her neck, sucking at her collar bone on the way down. Kylo pressed her breasts together as he kissed down her cleavage. He continued his journey down the length of her stomach until he settled himself between her thighs.

He has seen this done before, between his previous assignments are their respective lovers. Then, to him it seemed almost animalistic. An itch that needed to be scratched. He never had the need or want to participate in such activities. That was, until he fell in love with Rey. Once those feelings had surfaced he started to wonder. He wanted more than anything to be connected to her in the most intimate of ways. He wanted _all_ of her. _Everything_.

Kylo turned his head to brush his full lips over the soft skin of her inner thigh. He laid a chaste kiss to her hip.

“May I kiss you, right here,” he asked.

She was nervous, he could tell. And he knew she had never done this before. If she had, he couldn’t guarantee that that wouldn’t have been the reason for his fall. Her breath hitched as she met his eyes.

“Yes.”

He descended upon her core, licking between her slick folds. She arched her back causing her to buck up into his face. Kylo stifled a laugh against her thigh. This was all new territory for him, for _both_ of them.

“Relax, let me give this to you. My sweet love.”

She nodded and threw her arm over her eyes.

“Oh don’t do that, let me see your eyes,” he said as he pulled her wrist away from her eyes.

“Keep your eyes on me, please.”

Her hazel eyes met his brown ones. She looked at him with heat simmering behind her gaze. Kylo once again lowered his mouth onto her. He sealed his lips around her clit and sucked. Her fingers weaved into his hair as she tugged on it gently. Kylo let his hands wander over her thighs and across her stomach. Touching and caressing everywhere he could reach.

He took one of his fingers and moved it along the slick of her folds, he was careful not to insert one, not without her permission.

_Do you need more? Would you like that?_ He nudged her mind.

Rey gasped at the mental intrusion.

“I didn’t know you could do that.” _Can you hear me?_

_Yes my love. Would you like more?_

_Yes, please._

He took his middle finger and pressed it slowly inside her. He could feel her walls clenching around it from the intrusion. She moaned and pulled his face closer into her body. He gave her a few more sucks as he curled his finger inside her.

Her thighs tightened around his head, trapping him between them. He could feel every inch of her body tensing up, she was close. So very close. She leaned her head forward to look directly in his eyes. Her mouth hung open as she finally found her release. Kylo gave her a soft kiss on her clit and removed his finger from inside her. He put the finger in his mouth to suck clean.

“I rather liked that,” he said.

“I did too. You may have to do that-- every night.”

Kylo laid on his back and stared at her as she caught her breath.

“Now it’s your turn,” she said.

“You don’t have to--”

Rey laid on her side and let her hand trail down his muscular stomach.

“I want to,” she said.

She grabbed the base of his cock and gave it a gentle stroke.

“This is… new,” he whispered.

“It feels both soft and hard,” she said.

Her strokes started slow, every few moments she would brush her thumb over the head of his penis. A bead of precum had gathered there and she smoothed it around the tip. Her hand moved faster against him and he felt himself rising to that same release he had just seen Rey achieve. The image of her beautiful face as she lost herself in her passion, triggered him to come over her hand and his chest.

It was a sensation he had never felt before. He gasped for breath as he looked into Rey’s eyes.

“Was that your first orgasm?”

“Yes,” he said in embarrassment. “It was never significant. Not until-- you.”

To his surprise she smiled up at him.

“I am glad that I was able to give you that,” she said. “I’ll be right back. I’ll get a towel to clean you off.”

Kylo laid with his head pushed into the pillows as he waited for her return. When she came out of the bathroom, she held a wet cloth in her hands.

“I wet it with warm water,” she said.

She wiped his chest clean and tossed the cloth in the nearby hamper.

“Let’s get dressed, we need to be at the restaurant in an hour or so.”

***

Kylo held Rey’s hand as they walked down the alleyway leading up to the front of the restaurant. He opened the door for her and placed his hand on her lower back. He glanced at the hostess as they walked in. _What was her name again?_

“Hi Chelsea, I need to talk to Luther.”

_Right Chelsea._

He felt the woman’s eyes bore into him, he glared at her until she averted her eyes. _Rude human._

“Sure Rey, I’ll be right back.”

The woman, _Chelsea_ , rushed back into the kitchen and out of sight.

“So Luther is an older man, but he doesn’t care much for protocol. So you should be good without any documentation.”

“I’m not sure I know what any of that means, but I trust you,” he told her with a smile.

Kylo let his hand rub up and down the notches of her spine as they waited for Chelsea to return with Luther. The kitchen doors opened as Chelsea made her way back to the host stand.

“He will be out in just a second Rey, he wants you to meet him at table 34.”

Rey led him back to the table numbered 34. Whatever _that_ meant. She slid into the booth and patted the seat beside her. Kylo sat without question.

A man approached the table and coughed to get their attention. When Kylo’s eyes met the cold stare of the other man’s, his veins felt like ice. A feeling of foreboding washed over him leaving him paralyzed. This man, he felt-- sinister, and also _familiar_.

The man held his hand out for Kylo to shake. Tentatively Kylo reached out to take his hand.

“It is so very nice to meet you Kylo Ren, Rey has told me a little about you.”

“Thank you, Mr.--”

“Snoke,” the man said. “Luther Snoke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to my amazing beta Nori


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts and self harm**

_Snoke_. He had heard that name before, whispered in the shadows. _Snoke_. It was a moniker for something. Someone. Where had he heard it before? He racked his brain trying to remember.

“Mr. Ren.”

Kylo broke from his revery.

“Rey will show you around the restaurant. I'm pleased to have you on board. I trust that you will be an asset to my business.”

Kylo glared at him, trying to place where he had heard of the name Snoke. Trying to understand the uneasy feeling assaulting him. Rey coughed beside him and motioned with her eyes for him to answer.

“Of course, Mr. Snoke.”

“Good to hear it, perhaps later we can meet one on one to discuss compensation.”

Kylo looked over to Rey with worry. He gently nudged her mind. _I don't have a good feeling about him Rey._

She looked over to him and responded. _He’s practically harmless, you are just paranoid. Everything is fine Kylo._

He sighed but returned his gaze to the older man.

“Right, later.”

Snoke smiled which only served to set Kylo's teeth on edge. Then the man got up and returned to his office in the back of the restaurant. That smile, he recognized it, he had seen it before.

_Lucifer_. His real name-- Lucifer.

Kylo quickly stumbled his way out of the booth and ran towards the restrooms. He pushed through the door and locked himself in the furthest stall. He sank to his knees as he started to hyperventilate. His heart was racing and he felt like he was going to be sick.

Kylo grabbed his hair and pulled, the pain a reminder of his failings. This whole time, right under his nose, she had been in the clutches of the _Devil_. Lucifer himself, in the flesh. He started to beat his head with his fist. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks as he continued to hit himself. He had failed her, truly failed her. How could he have missed this? His heart clenched tightly as his thoughts raced. Kylo fell back onto his bottom and hit his head hard against the bathroom wall. He held his hands over his face as he sobbed. _Failure. Failure. Failure._

Slowly he picked himself up off the ground and walked over to the sink situated inside of the stall. He peered at his reflection in the grimy mirror. He felt an overwhelming sensation coursing through his veins. Something he had never equated to himself before, until now. Disgust. His face was splotchy will tears rolling down his cheeks, his eyes were red and swollen. Kylo couldn’t look at himself.

He cracked his knuckles as he clinched his hand into a fist. Without thinking, he punched the mirror hard, shattering it into shards that rained down at his feet. He heard the distant sound of hurried feet, but he ignored it.

Falling to the ground, he reached forward and grabbed a shard of the mirror. Thoughts began racing in his mind. Intrusive thoughts that plagued him. _She’s better off without you. Nothing but a failure. You are not worthy._

The thoughts rang out in his head, so loud, so very loud. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t concentrate. He wanted them to stop. So he did the one thing he thought of to do to take the edge off. He took the shard and ran it down his arm, the pain made the voices in his head disappear.

He felt tiny arms wrapping around his torso. A voice calling out to him, that sweet little voice that belonged to his beloved. She sounded panicked. _Why was she panicked?_ He felt disoriented and weak. His body wasn’t responding as he leaned back on the tiny body holding him upright. She helped him lay on the ground, it was cold and hard. He didn’t seem to mind, as long as she held him.

She walked away; inside of his head he was screaming for her to _stop_ to _come back._ He needed her, he needed her, oh how he needed her. _Please, please, please._

She returned with a towel and held it against his arm. Kylo looked towards his hands on his arm and saw the white towel stained red.

“What did you do to yourself, Kylo?”

She helped him to stand and pulled him along with her out of the bathroom and into the dining room. She rushed past the hostess and yelled at her to tell Luther there had been an accident.

An accident.

Outside of the restaurant, Rey sat him on the curb and ran over to the payphone.

“I am so glad this crummy town has one of these,” she said out loud.

Kylo watched intently as she put some coins into the machine and punched buttons before putting the phone to her ear.

“I need an ambulance.”

***

The ambulance ride was something he hadn’t expected. The paramedics, as Rey had called them, had patched up his arm securely to staunch the bleeding. Rey had jumped into the ambulance and insisted that she’s his wife, in order for her to ride along with him. Kylo knew that marriage was a commitment in this world. He knew what a husband and a wife was. It made him absurdly happy that she claimed to be his wife, even if it was just under false pretenses. He rather liked that idea of Rey being his wife.

They arrived at the hospital and were rushed to the emergency room. It didn’t take the nurse long to stitch his arm up. Soon they were left alone in a recovery room.

“What were you thinking?” Rey finally asked.

“I wasn’t really, too many voices in my head. Urging me to _do_ something.”

She looked at him with worry, her brows knitted. “Voices?”

Kylo took her hand and interlaced their fingers.

“Rey, I have to tell you something. And you have to believe me when I tell you this. It is very serious.”

She nodded for him to continue.

“Snoke, he’s not who you think he is. He’s Lucifer.”

She chuckled as she corrected him, “No Kylo, he’s Luther.”

“No, you don’t understand Rey. He’s Lucifer. He’s the Devil.”

Rey audibly gasped, “What the shit?”

He reached over and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to his chest.

“I’m so sorry Rey, I have failed you. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I was charged with protecting you, and I couldn’t even sense _Lucifer_. I’m so sorry.”

His hand tangled in her hair as he weaved his fingers through the strands. He felt the tears escaping his eyes once again, staining her shirt. Kylo could feel her heart beating wildly against his chest. She was nervous, afraid.

“Don’t worry, I may have failed you but I will protect you now. You have nothing to worry about. I will handle this.”

She remained quiet as he held her in his arms. His sweet Rey. Finally she cleared her throat and began to speak.

“Why did you hurt yourself? Why Kylo? You were just going to leave me?”

He stared at her in shock, that wasn’t what he was doing. Was it?

“I… I wasn’t leaving you, I was looking for a release. There were too many voices, too much torment, I… I couldn’t think, I couldn’t… I wasn’t _worthy_ of you. Don’t you understand how badly I failed you? I would _ruin_ you.”

“You never could. You’ve saved me more than once… Ben.”

_Ben_. She called him Ben.

“My Ben.”

She pushed him back against the pillows and climbed into the cot next to him.

“Ben,” she kissed his lips, letting her hand run down his chest and across his shoulder. “My Ben.”

“Yours,” he agreed, “Always yours.”

They kissed and held on to each other for most of the night, Kylo could barely sleep from fear of what Snoke could be planning. Rey dozed off on his chest, her little puffs of breath hitting his cheek as she slept.

***

Kylo was released from the hospital the next morning, a gentle nudge from his mind made the doctors to forget that he had ever been seen. Rey walked with him back to their apartment in silence, her hand held his tightly.

Once they were inside, he walked swiftly to her bed and got under the covers. For reasons unknown to him, he felt like he couldn’t face the reality of the situation. If only he could stay here for just a little longer. He felt the bed dip as Rey joined him under the covers.

“I know that you know this already, but I tried to take my own life before. I know that feeling of worthlessness. The feeling that the world would be better off without you. I know that because I’ve been there. I almost succeeded, but you helped me through it. I know it was you. I felt you. And I’ve never been more scared in my life than when I walked in on you covered in blood and completely out of it. I thought I had lost you, the only person that has ever been there for me. And you were leaving me too. I know that is selfish to think that way. But we both need to be better Ben, we need to help each other out. Because I can’t go on without you, you hear me? You can’t leave me now.”

“I understand. I’m sorry.”

“So stop thinking,” she silenced him with a kiss.

She climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Kylo pushed his hands underneath her tank top and smoothed them along her back. She ground her hips down onto his, he thrust his head back into the pillows as he grabbed her waist.

Rey pushed off of his chest and grabbed the hem of her shirt, ripping it off and tossing it across the room. She was marvelously bare beneath her tank. Rey guided his hands up to her gorgeous breasts. Kylo traced her nipples with his thumbs, her head was thrown back as she moaned.

They quickly rid themselves of the rest of their clothing. Rey situated herself on top of him again, he could feel her hot against his stomach where she sat. He ran his hands down her back until he reached her bottom.

Rey moved her body further down until she lifted herself up and rubbed her along his hardened shaft.

He grabbed her waist again as he bucked up against her out of reflex.

“What, are you-- are you sure?”

“Yes, Ben. Please, make love to me.”

She balanced her arms on his shoulders as she hovered above him. Kylo grabbed his cock and rubbed it along her slick folds.

“I don't know-- do I just?”

Rey answered him by pushing down on top of him. He entered her slowly. She tensed around him for a moment before relaxing and taking him in to the hilt. Kylo was seated fully inside her when she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Can I move?”

“Yes, please.”

He thrusted gently inside of her. The feeling of her warm, slick walls around him was exquisite. Each thrust brought them closer together, he felt as if their bodies and minds melded into one.

The view he held was so perfect. He looked up through his lashes at the beautiful woman above him. Her breasts bounced with each shallow thrust of his cock inside of her. Her mouth hung open in a silent moan; he could hear her whispering his name. _Ben. Ben. Ben. My Ben._

“My Rey. My beautiful Rey.”

He felt her tightening around his cock as she moaned and fluttered against him. He thrust into her twice more before he spilled deep inside of her.

He held her close, not willing to let her go just yet. Not believing that this was real, this had actually happened.

She slipped off of him but returned to his arms, cuddling against his chest.

“That was, incredible. Rey, you were perfect.”

She blushed as she pressed a kiss to his lips. “You were incredible too.”

He nuzzled her nose with his own before closing his eyes.

“What are we going to do about Snoke?” She asked.

“Don't worry, I will handle it. Let's go to sleep now.”

He wrapped her even tighter in his arms as he began to form a plan. He knew that he needed to talk to someone from his realm. He knew it was time to summon his uncle. It was time for Luke to return. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was kind of inspired by the show "13 reasons why" on Netflix. It kind of destroyed me. So writing this was almost therapeutic, and I hope that anyone that suffers from depression is able to talk to someone that understands.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo sat on the floor of the apartment with his legs crossed and his hands on his knees facing palm up. He concentrated hard, searching for the link that would connect him with his uncle, Luke Skywalker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fun stuff happening in this chapter. Let me know what you think!

Kylo sat on the floor of the apartment with his legs crossed and his hands on his knees facing palm up. He concentrated hard, searching for the link that would connect him with his uncle, Luke Skywalker. He felt a tug and he chased it. The connection pulling taut before snapping back. Kylo opened his eyes and gritted his teeth. Luke had to have felt him calling out to him. Yet, stubborn man that his uncle is, refused to answer him.

He found himself punching the floor until his knuckles bled. Kylo watched as the blood rolled down his hand, painting his wrist and arm in a deep red. _Fascinating_. He knew deep down that Rey would be upset at him for harming himself. There was something so intoxicating about his body and how he could actually feel pain. Pain in a physical sense, he was all too familiar with the ache and longing that he felt for years as a guardian.

He thought briefly of their previous night, a small smile spread across his lips. Finally, he had felt what it was like to be inside of her. The warm, tight squeeze of her walls around him. He wanted more.

Kylo pushed himself off the ground and walked over to the kitchen sink, letting the water wash the blood from his knuckles and arm. Suddenly, Rey pushed the door to the apartment open and brought in a couple of bags of food.

“Why didn’t you wake me, I could have gone shopping with you.”

She smirked before replying, “You were sleeping like a baby. I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

Rey walked over to him and ran her hands up and down his chest.

“Did you have a good time last night?” she asked.

“Yes, absolutely. You aren’t-- hurt are you? I didn’t hurt you?”

She pulled out the groceries and started putting them away as she responded, “I’m fine Kylo. Did you, you know-- contact that person you were hoping to? I don’t know how that works. Do you just summon them or something.”

He couldn’t help it, he laughed. Rey looked at him with mock anger as she waited for him to finish his fit of laughter.

“I’m sorry, I suppose you could call it that. And to answer your question, no I haven’t reached him. He’s being a petulant child and ignoring me.”

“Why would he do that?”

Kylo shook his head in exasperation as he replied, “He doesn’t approve of my fall. He never took the time to ask for my side of the story. He just believes that I did something unforgivable. He will come around. We need him to come around.”

She pulled off a piece of her cuban bread and popped it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, lost in thought. It took a lot for Kylo to not just push into her mind to see what she was thinking. He respected her need for privacy though, and he didn’t want to breach that. Again.

“So what do we do about the _Lucifer_ situation? We can't go back there. Can we?”

Kylo walked around until he was behind Rey, he placed his hands on the kitchen counter, closing her in. His bare chest pressed flush against her back.

“It isn't safe. I don't even know how he left our realm. He shouldn't be able to cross over. Not after being banished by-- my uncle.”

“Your uncle?”

“Yes, Luke. He's an angel. In the purest sense of the word.”

He kissed behind the shell of her ear, darting his tongue out to taste her skin.

“So how do we reach him?”

He wrapped his arm around her waist and rested his head between her shoulder blades. Pressing a kiss on her back, he sighed deeply before responding.

“I can try to reach out to him again. Maybe if you are here with me, holding my hands, maybe he will feel your presence and understand that this is critical.”

He spun her around and pressed his body against hers, wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her tight. Kylo leaned forward and kissed her, desperate and longing for more. Her fingers weaved their way into his hair, pulling him closer.

When Kylo pulled away, he saw her chest heaving with each breath, lips swollen from kissing, and her pupils blown wide with lust. There was a carnal part of him that wanted to rip her pants off of her and bend her over the counter, holding her down by her neck and thrusting into her from behind and-- where were these thoughts coming from? He didn’t want to debase Rey. He loves her, he wants to make love to her.

Shocked by his own depraved thoughts, he released her. Apologies falling off his tongue as he ran to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. Kylo’s head fell into his hands as he breathed. He heard Rey enter the bathroom. She walked over and sat beside him without saying a word. He averted his eyes away from Rey’s as she grabbed his face to bring him closer to her. How could he look her in the face when he had-- _envisioned_ her in _that_ way. Completely submissive to him.

When he found the courage to meet her eyes, he saw worry. Her brows knitted together in confusion at his odd reaction. And why wouldn’t she be confused? She wasn’t privy to his mind. She hadn’t seen what he saw.

A low chuckle in the back of his mind filled his head. A searing headache assaulted him causing Kylo to fall to the ground. Rey’s arms reached out for him, pulling him into her embrace. That’s when he called out to Luke.

_Please Luke, help me. This is dire, ahh, I need your help._

His vision was hazy and Kylo began to shake. The adrenaline coursing through his veins almost too much for him to handle. He began to scream, pain scorching his back as he pushed the voice out of his head, whispering for him to _end it. End the pain now_. He fought back, trying to clear his mind. With a burst of energy he slammed his mind shut from the intrusions. Rey scattered to the corner of the bathroom with a look of shock on her face.

He made to go to her, but as he stood he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His black wings with golden patterns woven throughout, were spread out in the tiny bathroom.

Rey stood and tentatively walked over to him, admiring his wings as she came closer. She reached out to touch, but held her hand just inches away, worried that the touch would be unwelcome.

“You can touch them Rey, I’m still me. Your Ben.”

A featherlight touch, and then an embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, his wings following suit in an all too familiar manner. She gasped, tears flooding her vision.

“This feels like home.”

And oh how it does. Logic began to take hold, questions of _how_ and _why_ filled his mind. One moment he was fighting against his mind then next he had sprout his wings. He continued to hold Rey in his arms, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

He walked her back to their bed and laid her down on the mattress, gently and with care. Kylo began pulling off her tanktop and bra followed by her leggings and underwear. He would prove to that voice that he would _worship_ her, _cherish_ her.

Her hands moved swiftly as she helped him out of his trousers. Dipping between her thighs he licked her through her folds, latching onto her clit and sucking it roughly between his lips. She was quivering and shaking beneath him.

When he released her clit and pulled away, she groaned in displeasure. But he soon was replacing his mouth with his hardened member. He kissed her into the pillows as he held his erection against her. Slowly he pushed in, careful not to go too fast or too hard.

With each shallow thrust, he sheathed more of himself inside of Rey. She grabbed his ass and pulled him even closer. The next thrust buried him to the hilt inside of her.

“Oh Rey, I love you. I love you.”

She welcomed him into her body, into her heart, opening up for him and surrounding him with her love. He could feel it. A connection that wove around them, twisting and turning-- wrapping around their bodies.

Kylo’s wings spread above them as he thrust into her. He watched her face-- her mouth hanging open with little moans, her eyes locked with his. Her hands were wrapped around his neck, holding tightly to him as he moved within her.

Bending over at the waist, he attacked her neck with kisses and licks, he moved down to her collarbone and further until he was mouthing the top swell of her left breast. Kylo looked up to meet her eyes once more before capturing her nipple in his mouth. He could feel the pleasure coming off of her in waves. It seems Rey liked this as much as he did. He swirled his tongue around the hardened peak.

He moved his hand between their bodies and started to rub at the apex of her thighs. Releasing her nipple from his mouth, he gave it a little kiss before moving on to her other breast. His thrusts were coming erratically now, chasing the orgasm that was building.

He felt her squeezing and fluttering around him, her walls clamping down on his cock. He rocked into her twice more before spilling deep inside of her. They held on to each other in a loving embrace, not wanting to pull out just yet. Just wanting to feel that connection that binds them.

And when he finally pulled out of her, Kylo kissed her on the lips as he covered them both with the sheets. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, and once again her lips. He slid his tongue inside her mouth and relished in the _taste_ of her.

He noticed then that his wings had worked their way around them. Reminiscent of the many nights that he held her in her sleep, willing away the pain and torment. His heart ached at the memory. A time when she was kept in the dark, and his soul ached for the loneliness.

He was broken from the memory by Rey grabbing his hand and examining his knuckles.

“What did you do to yourself Kylo?”

He looked away to gather his thoughts. It was really just an outburst of frustration that caused him to break the tender skin of his knuckles. But would she understand?

He was about to open his mouth to attempt to explain away his injury when a _familiar_ voice nudged its way into his head.

_Ben. When you are finished procreating, I'm willing to talk._

“Luke,” he said out loud.

Then the words sunk in. _Procreate_. Both him and Rey had been distracted with the throws of passion. They hadn't thought about… protection.

“What? He's here now?” Rey asked as she clutched the sheets to her chest.

Kylo jumped up and grabbed their clothes, handing Rey hers as he hurried to get dressed.

_Where are you uncle?_

“Hello Ben.”

The two of them, now fully dressed, turned to look towards the front door of the apartment. His uncle was leaning against the wall with a small smile on his lips. He was dressed head to toe in tan robes and his white wings offset Ben’s black ones.

“I see you got your wings back. That is good news. Now what is this all about?”

Kylo swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, his hand clenched into a fist as he thought about the man disguised as a simple restaurant owner.

“Lucifer,” Kylo said, “he's here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Nori for being the best beta! 
> 
> Dedicated to Shwtlee <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In his hand, materialized a sword made of fire that flickered and sparked as he held it in his hands. He swung the sword at the door, leaving gashes in its wake. Rey continued to scream on the other side of the door. He slashed and swiped with the sword until pieces of the locks crumbled into ash.

“Lucifer Snoke was banished to his realm in Hell. How is it even possible that he is here Ben?” Luke asked.

“Honestly, I was hoping that you would be able to tell _me_ that. That is why I have been calling out to you, with no answer might I add.”

Rey watched the exchange with wide eyes. Kylo noticed her stare and collected her by his side. His black wings encircled them both as he stood in front of his uncle.

“Rey, can you see Luke?”

She stared into his dark eyes before meeting Luke’s blue ones.

“Yes,” she answered.

_How?_ How is it possible that she can see Luke too? It seemed that Luke was wondering the same thing because suddenly he reached out and touched Rey’s cheek, pulling his hand back like he had been burnt.

“What did you do Ben?”

Kylo looked to his uncle and raised an eyebrow, “Why are you going to assume I did something?”

“Perhaps because you _did_ do something to lose your wings. And now this mortal can see our kind.”

Looking over to where Rey was standing, Kylo draped his arm over her shoulders and brought her into his solid chest.

“She can help us defeat him, I’m sure of it.”

Luke looked at them both inquisitively before walking over to the couch and sitting down. Kylo looked into Rey’s eyes and cupped her cheek.

_Everything will be alright, he will come around._

She placed her hand on top of his.

_I trust you Ben._

“How long have you been able to do that,” Luke asked as he motioned towards them.

“Do what?” Kylo asked.

“I can sense that the two of you have a strong mental connection. And you were just having a private conversation, were you not?”

Kylo nodded and he approached his uncle.

“And what do you think that means?”

Luke leaned forward and clasped his hands together.

“Like I asked, how long have you been able to do that?”

Kylo thought it over and recalled the lonely nights when she had spoken back to him, unaware that he was real, that he was right there. The pain and longing he felt when she would wake up the next morning without the memory of their silent conversations.

He met his uncle’s eyes as he explained their ability to communicate, and how long it had been going on. It came as somewhat of a surprise to Rey, realizing that many of those scents and phantom embraces were always him. She had always been attuned to his presence.

Luke listened on intently as Kylo spoke. Once he was finished, Luke turned to Rey.

“Are you a seer?”

“A what?” she asked.

“A seer, a prophet?”

Kylo looked at Rey as if he was seeing her for the first time. Could it be possible? Could she be more than just a human? He felt it deep in his heart, there was something about her that was unique. Perhaps, this was it.

“I don’t think so, I’ve only ever been plagued with nightmares. Nothing that predicts the future. Ben here was able to silence those nightmares.”

She smiled at him shyly as she grabbed his hand.

“Were they nightmares?” Luke asked.

“Of course they were,” she said.

“Do you remember the events in the nightmares?”

She shook her head in confusion.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.”

“Ben, lay her down on the bed. I want you to enter her mind and search for those nightmares. They could be the key in unraveling the mystery of your girl here.”

“What?” Rey asked as Kylo picked her up, his one arm around her back while the other hooked underneath her legs.

“It’s going to be fine, my love.”

Kylo placed her onto the mattress and brushed her hair out of her eyes. He held his hand to her temple and spoke smoothly as he willed her to fall asleep.

Once she was under, he kissed her softly on the lips before pressing his forehead against hers. He slipped into her subconscious. Kylo could feel her fear as it rippled through his body. As he looked around, he saw an empty cavern with a door that was barricaded shut by locks and deadbolts.

Kylo walked over and began pounding on the door, he heard Rey’s screams on the other side of the door and he began to panic. He needed to get to her.

In his hand, materialized a sword made of fire that flickered and sparked as he held it in his hands. He swung the sword at the door, leaving gashes in its wake. Rey continued to scream on the other side of the door. He slashed and swiped with the sword until pieces of the locks crumbled into ash.

“Hold on sweetheart, I’m coming. Hold on love.”

Kylo took the blade in his hands and pierced it through the durasteel door, he was able to cut a large enough hole for him to push his way through. On the other side of the door, he was surrounded by the familiar imagery that could only be the realms. Fire and molten lava painted the room an eerie shade of red. Kylo immediately looked for Rey, he couldn’t find her through the smoke that pierced his eyes.

Finally, the smoke was beginning to clear. He saw Rey off in the distance. She was on her knees, sitting on her ankles as she sobbed, and she was holding a body. He ran over to her, only able to see the back of her head. He reached out to grab her shoulder. To yell for her and let her know that everything would be fine, that he was here now. Everything would be fine.

But when he reached for her, his hand didn’t make contact. And once he moved in front of her, he saw the body that she was holding and sobbing over.

In her arms, laying across her lap with a spear through the heart-- was him.

Kylo felt his body go numb. He looked around, trying to make sense of what he had just seen. The image before him was of himself dying in Rey’s arms, in the realms of all places. Rey was clutching his face in her hands and kissing his brow.

“You can’t die on me Ben. I need you,” she cried.

Guilt riddled him as he watched her rock his lifeless body in her arms. This was what her nightmares were about; what woke her up screaming in the middle of the night. Those nights when he would wrap her up in his wings, pulling her into his chest and soothing the fears that plagued her mind. She had nightmares about _his_ death. A man she didn’t even know existed.

That could only mean one thing, Luke was correct about her being a seer. And this wasn’t a nightmare. This-- this was his future.

Kylo got to his knees in front of Rey and brushed the hair out of her eyes. Suddenly, she looked up at him and met his eyes. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy from the tears she had shed. The image of her broke his heart. His Rey. His beautiful Rey.

“Everything will be alright Rey,” he told her.

She looked at him and then back down to the body she held in her arms.

“This can never be alright, not when I have to go on without you. How am I supposed to do that Ben?”

His heart ached and tears slipped out of his eyes as he thought of the one thing he could do for her, and would do for her when the time came. When this future became a reality.

Kylo grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her longingly on the lips. She returned the kiss passionately. Once he pulled away, he whispered into her ear for only her to hear.

“I love you, I will always love you.”

And then he raised his hand to her temple, taking away all the memories she ever had of him.

***

Kylo gasped as he pulled out of Rey’s subconscious. She was still sleeping soundly on the bed. He turned to his uncle and looked at him solemnly.

“You were right uncle, she is a seer.”

“What did you see Ben?”

He was silent as he watched over Rey’s sleeping face.

“I saw my death, probably by the hands of Snoke.”

Luke frowned and walked over to him. He pulled Kylo in for a hug. He stiffened at the contact before relenting and returning the embrace.

“We can figure this out Ben, not all premonitions become true.”

“She can’t know,” Kylo said. “She can’t know that there is a chance I will die. She can’t know that Luke. Promise me-- promise me that you won’t tell her.”

“Ben, she needs to at least be aware. How will she take it if it does come true?”

Kylo pulled his hand into a fist and gritted his teeth. The pain in his heart returned at the thought of what he would have to do. She would not remember him or what they had. But she would live, and she would continue on with her life.

“You don’t have to worry about that Luke. I have everything settled.”

Kylo walked over to Rey and was about to wake her when he turned back to his uncle.

“Oh, one more thing. While I was there, I was able to wield a sword made of fire. Have any idea what that could mean?”

“Ah,” Luke smiled. “So you have summoned your weapon. That is perfect timing if I do say so.”

“I don’t follow?”

His uncle waved his hand and a sword materialized in his own hand. Luke’s sword was made of a jagged emerald.

“You said your sword was made of fire?” Luke smirked.

Kylo waved his hand, and the very same sword made of fire materialized. He pressed a button on the side that extinguished the flame and latched the sword onto his belt.

“Alright, I think it is time to wake her,” Kylo said as he motioned towards Rey.

He walked back over to her and kissed her forehead, then each of her eyelids, and lastly her lips.

Rey’s eyes fluttered open as she sat up on the mattress.

“Did you find what you needed to Ben?”

She reached her arms out to him like a child looking for comfort. He sat on the bed and gathered her up into his arms.

“Yes, my love. As it turns out, you are a seer. This could help us greatly in defeating Snoke.”

She rested her head on his shoulder and let out a tiny sigh.

“What does that mean? And how will it help you?”

“Well, we have plenty of time to figure all of that out. You must have at least been the child of one seer. Don't worry, we will figure this all out.”

“I am so exhausted Ben. What was the nightmare of?”

His heart broke at the memory of Rey sobbing over his body.

“It was of the inevitable confrontation with Snoke. But we have time to prepare before that happens. You should rest Rey.”

He kissed her lips again and trailed kisses along her neck as he laid her back onto the mattress. He was about to pull away when she grabbed his arm.

“Please don't leave. Stay.”

“Of course,” he whispered into her temple, kissing her there.

Luke bid them farewell before disappearing, leaving them to their seclusion.

Kylo looked down upon Rey as she cuddled up into his side. His black wings wrapped around her, gold accents flickering in the light.

“I love you,” she whispered against his skin.

He thought once more of the look on her face, the tears in her eyes as she held onto him. She was jagged and broken without him. And he wondered for a brief moment, if it would have been better for her to have remained unaware of his existence. He shook the thought aside as he squeezed her tightly.

“I love you too Rey.”

And he did, he loved her more than his own life. He would die for her. And die he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Special thanks to by beta Nori for talking with me about this chapter <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He memorized her features, searing them into his brain. That way when he closed his eyes, he would have the image of her face as she is right now-- in peace. Instinctively he grasped her tighter, causing Rey to whimper in her sleep. He didn’t want to see that look on her face, the one from the vision. It broke his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reyofjakku on YouTube made this wonderful fanvid for this story! 
> 
> https://youtu.be/qgZ_ubO2lyc
> 
> It's amazing and I'm so blessed. Please watch it and leave comments <3

Kylo stayed awake watching Rey’s face as she slept in his arms. He took in every detail, from her rosy lips to her cute upturned nose and the freckles that speckled her cheeks.

He memorized her features, searing them into his brain. That way when he closed his eyes, he would have the image of her face as she is right now-- in peace. Instinctively he grasped her tighter, causing Rey to whimper in her sleep. He didn’t want to see _that_ look on her face, the one from the vision. It broke his heart.

Kylo kissed her lips lightly. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at him. Kylo leaned over her and returned her smile. She lifted her hands and brushed his dark curls out of his face.

“Hey,” she said.

“Did you sleep well, my love?”

Rey bit into her bottom lip as she nodded her head at him. Her fingers sunk into his hair and carded through his curls.

“So what is all of this about being a seer?”

Kylo felt his stomach sink with the anxiety that accompanied it.

“We have plenty of time to talk about that,” he said as he kissed her lips. “Isn’t there anything else you would like to do right now?’

He rolled on top of her and ground his hips against hers. He just wanted to love her, make love to her, one last time.

Kylo planted soft, gentle kisses along her throat and collarbone. His hand grasped onto her neck and squeezed lightly. He felt Rey’s hands move from his hair to his shoulders and she ran them down his back until she reached his ass. She grabbed his bottom through his sleep pants.

He then let his own hand smooth down her neck and between her breasts. He slipped his hand inside of her shirt and cupped her breast. She moaned and arched her back, causing her tit to push up into his hand even further. He felt her nipple harden and pucker against his palm.

Kylo brought his hand back out of her shirt and twisted the hem of it in his fingers. Then he pulled down until her breasts were revealed. Rey’s nipples were already peaked as he lowered his mouth over one of them. He sucked her nipple, relishing the feel of the hardened nub between his lips.

He cupped her breast with his hand as he continued to suckle at her nipple. He massaged the little swells of flesh and moved from one breast to the other, ravishing them with equal attention.

Kylo gently lifted the shirt over her head and tossed it aside. He nuzzled Rey’s neck and left a trail of wet kisses down her chest just between her breasts.

His hands cupped her breasts again as he pressed a kiss to one nipple and then the other. He continued his journey down her body, letting his tongue dart out to lave at her hip bone.

“Let me make you feel good,” he said as he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh.

He hooked his fingers in her sleep shorts and pulled them off swiftly.

Kylo blew across her exposed pussy causing her to throw her head back into the pillows and moan. He pressed a gentle kiss to her clit and licked a stripe up through her slick folds. He concentrated his attention on the hardened bud, flicking his tongue against it and sucking it between his lips.

He grabbed Rey’s hips and rolled them over so she was straddling his face. She rocked her hips against his mouth as he continued to lick and suck. She leaned her body back against his legs and braced her own legs on either side of his head on the mattress.

Kylo let his hand skim down her body until he reached her breasts. He squeezed the mounds of flesh and plucked at her nipples as he devoured her core.

Rey rocked her hips harder against him, chasing that friction that would give her release. He pinched her nipples and gave her clit one hard suck. She began shuddering against his tongue as he lapped at her arousal.

She pushed his head and whined about her body being over sensitive. Kylo let her roll off of his body and she landed on her back on the mattress. Kylo crawled over her body and settled himself between her splayed thighs. He kissed at her neck as he ground his erection against her folds. He brushed the head of his cock against her clit and she moaned.

Rey’s hand snuck down between their bodies as she grabbed his dick and guided him to her sopping entrance. He pushed inside and groaned at the feeling of being engulfed in her warm, wet walls.

He gave shallow thrusts as he hilted himself inside of her.

“Oh Rey, my beautiful Rey.”

He pounded into her, hearing the slap of skin on skin as they moved together. His hand held her hip in place as he continued to thrust. He felt himself beginning to reach that tantalizing feeling. He wanted to feel Rey come around him, wanted to feel her walls as they clenched his cock-- milking him of his orgasm. He rubbed her slippery nub with the pad of his thumb in swift circles.   
“Ben, I, I’m--”

She came around him, giving him exactly what he wanted. He felt her quiver and shake around him as she came down from her orgasm. Kylo grabbed her hips and thrusted twice more before filling her with his come.

“Rey, Rey, I love you, my sweet Rey,” he babbled into the crook of her neck.

“Oh Ben.” She carded her fingers through his dark waves. “I love you Ben.”

***

After they had gotten dressed, Rey sat on the bed and stared at Kylo as he brushed his hair out of his eyes and gathered their dirty clothes into his arms, throwing them into the hamper.

“Ben, please tell me what you know about my abilities.”

He remembered a time long ago when Luke told him about his grandfather, Anakin. Anakin was an angel like the rest of them. But his friend and teacher, Obi Wan Kenobi, was something more. He had the ability to see visions of the future. And in doing so, Obi Wan saw the fall of Anakin Skywalker.

Kylo told Rey what he knew, that the visions put a rift between the two men. And in the end, Obi Wan maimed Anakin so severely that he became unrecognizable. Anakin spent his time locked away in the realms. It was only when Luke fought against Lucifer, did Anakin turn from the Dark and sacrifice himself in order to save him son.

“He was an angel though, Obi Wan?” Rey asked.

“Yes.”

“But I’m not,” she replied.

“No,” Kylo agreed. “You are something else, darling.”

“So how can I help in this fight?”

Kylo smiled a little as he thought about his Rey wielding a weapon, helping in the fight against Snoke.

“I can train you, in combat.”

“Okay,” she smiled as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “You can be my teacher.”

He was quiet for a moment before he looked her in the eyes and asked the difficult question that had been lingering in his mind.

“Darling, love, do you have any idea what happened to your parents. Who they were?”

A tear slid down her cheek and she averted her eyes.

“I remember the first time I saw you Rey, you were an infant. You were left on the front porch of the orphanage. But I didn’t see who left you there. From that point on, you were my responsibility.”

“Maz told me once that my mother died in childbirth. My father, he didn’t know about me. The person that dropped me off. That was just a nurse at the hospital.”

Kylo pulled her into his chest, kissing her forehead and wiping away the tears that leaked out of her eyes.

“I wasn’t enough for my mother to find the will to live, my father didn’t even know I existed. I’ve never been wanted. I’ve always been thrown away.”

“No, no, no, I want you. You mean so much to me, Rey. Don’t you see? I would die for you.”

She stopped sobbing and looked him in the eyes, “No, I don’t want that.”

“What?” he asked.

“I don’t want you to die.”

Kylo was about to protest when suddenly a brick was thrown into the window of their apartment-- shattering the glass in shards. Rey threw her arms up and stopped the glass in mid air, one piece still made contact with his cheek. The gash bled but Kylo looked over at Rey in shock and confusion. What had she just...?

She put her arms down and the glass fell to the ground. She walked over to the window looking out and seeing the retreating body of a man with bright orange hair. When she described the man to him, Kylo inwardly noted that it was one of Snoke’s minions.

When she looked over at Kylo she gasped and ran forward. She held his cheek where it bled and rummaged around for a bandage.

Kylo couldn’t take his eyes off of her. How did she?

When she removed her hand to place the bandage on his cheek, she furrowed her brow in confusion.

“The cut-- it’s gone?”

Kylo touched his own cheek and felt nothing. The skin had mended back together. She had healed him.

“Ben, what is going on?”

He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face as he grabbed her upper arms.

“Rey, do you have any idea what this means?”

She shook her head and scrunched her nose.

“I’ve no idea what you are going on about. Ben, please talk to me. Tell me what just happened. What did I do. How did your cut get healed.”

He let out a shaky laugh.

“Rey, darling, it was you.”

“How could I?”

“You couldn’t, unless. Don’t you see? You are like me.”

“Like you how?”

“You would not be able to freeze time like you just did with the glass, you would not be able to heal me like you just did. You are like me Rey.”

She grabbed his cheeks and brought his lips down to hers.

“What are you saying exactly?”

He smiled brightly down on her, brightly for the first time in a long while.

“You’re an angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta Nori! Thank you to Shwtlee and Daxcat79 for talking to me about this chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo was teaching Rey some basic forms of self defense and mind control. Ever since he came to the conclusion that she’s an angel, he was working hard training her and trying to find a way for her to break through her shields to release her wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters after this one!

“Again Rey. Good.”

Kylo was teaching Rey some basic forms of self defense and mind control. Ever since he came to the conclusion that she’s an angel, he was working hard training her and trying to find a way for her to break through her shields to release her wings.

It seemed that she was currently stuck in her mortal form.

“Can you hold me against the wall here? Use your mind. Reach out and use your senses to hold me in place.”

He felt the tendrils of power wrap around his body, binding him to his place against the wall. Kylo tried to open his mouth to speak but Rey had even stopped his ability to speak. Once she released him from the hold, he ran up to her and grabbed her cheeks.

“That was incredible.”

He kissed her deeply before pulling her into a large embrace.

“Shall we work on telekinesis?” he asked.

“Yes, I don’t know how I stopped the glass. It just felt like… instinct.”

“You have to feel it here Rey,” he said as he placed a hand over her heart. “We will keep training, and soon enough we will be able to take on Lucifer.”

They started with small objects around the room. She concentrated hard as she reached out for the coffee mug sitting on the counter. The mug jiggled in its spot but did not levitate.

Kylo moved behind her and grabbed her waist, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“You can do this, my love. I know you can do this.” he whispered in her ear.

Kylo looked down at her face. She wore a mask of concentration, her brows furrowed and a bead of sweat dripping down her temple. Her hand shook as she held the jiggling mug in her grasp.

Suddenly it flew across the room and shattered against the wall. Kylo turned Rey around in his arms and attacked her lips in a passionate kiss.

“Well done,” he said. “I think you deserve a break.”

He lifted her over his shoulder and slapped her bottom as he walked her over to the bed.

“Ben what are you… Ben,” she laughed.

He threw her on the bed and began kissing her neck. His hands snuck underneath the fabric of her tank top and pushed it over her breasts. Kylo was caging her in with his body and grinding his cock against her clothed pussy.

Her fingers weaved through his curly locks. She grabbed hold and tugged lightly causing him to growl against her neck. He grabbed her breast in retaliation, squeezing roughly before reaching around and unclipping her bra.

Kylo threw the bra across the room and closed his lips around her nipple. He sucked hard moving from one nipple to the other, giving them equal attention. And when he met her eyes, he gave her a wicked grin.

He made his way down her body, sucking bruises on her ribs and hips. He soothed the spots with his tongue after, making sure to press gentle kisses into her skin.

Kylo set his chin down on her pelvic bone and looked up into her eyes. Rey brushed the errant curl out of his face and ghosted her fingers over the shell of his ear. It was a tender gesture, and the look in her eyes, though lustful, was also full of love.

Kylo crawled up her body and kissed her on the lips, taking his time to slide his tongue along hers.

“I love you,” he said with devotion.

“I love you Ben.”

He took his time, tracing the edges of her body, cataloging each tender place that made her gasp with pleasure.

He eased her leggings down her thighs. Resting one of her feet on his chest and he rolled the material off of her other leg. And then switched legs and repeated the same motion. She was completely bare before him, only wearing her tiny black panties.

And damn, she had never looked more beautiful than in this moment. Her hair framed the pillow like a halo around her head. Kylo grabbed her ankle and brought his lips down to place a wet kiss on the bone. He licked a path up her leg until he reached the apex of her thighs.

He kissed her through her underwear, working her with his tongue. Frustrated with the impeding fabric, he ripped them off and tossed them on the floor.

“Ben, did you just rip my pant-- ohhh.”

Kylo latched onto her clit, silencing her prior complaints. He’d buy her new panties after this if she insisted.

He licked through her slick folds, teasing her nub with the tip of his tongue. She bucked her hips out of instinct. Kylo threw an arm across her hips to steady her as he continued to lick and suck at her sensitive clit.

Kylo reached his other hand up to grab onto hers and intertwined their fingers. She slipped the fingers of her other hand into his hair and scraped her nails against his scalp.

He pulled away with a slick pop, leaving Rey a panting and moaning mess beneath him.

“Why did you stop?” she asked.

He climbed back on top of her and slid inside with one thrust. His eyes rolled into the back of his head at the feeling of her tight pussy wrapped around his cock.

“I want to feel you come on my dick,” he said.

Rey grabbed his shoulders and dug her nails into his skin as he started to thrust.

He would never tire of this, the feel of her clenching around him as he pushed into her body, the way her breasts would jiggle with each thrust, the way her mouth hung open as she moaned.

And it was all for him.

Kylo picked up speed as he thrust inside of her. She was so warm and tight. Each undulation of her hips against his made his eyes roll into the back of his head.

“Yes,” she moaned. “Harder Ben, harder.”

Kylo pulled her leg up, hooking his hand under her knee as he pressed her thigh against her chest. This angle allowed him to reach even deeper. He rubbed against her g-spot which caused a shock of pleasure to run through her body. He could… he could feel that…. he could feel her pleasure.

Kylo paid special attention to her mounting pleasure. He climbed along with her, and when she crashed into her orgasm, she pulled him down with her. He thrusted twice more before shooting hot ropes of come inside of her.

Rey’s arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down for a deep kiss.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“And I love you.”

Kylo rolled onto his back, holding Rey to his chest as he settled into the pillows.

He wondered if she could feel the strength of his love for her, if the beating of his heart were any indication of his devotion.

Kylo hid his head into her shoulder as he held her. It was almost time-- the battle could not be put off much longer.

***

“Who was that man? The one that threw the brick?”

Kylo and Rey were sitting on the floor of her living room eating sandwiches. They had cleared the room of the furniture earlier in order to make room to train.

“That was Hux. He's a demon.”

She chewed a bite of her sandwich as she listened to what he said.

“So what was the purpose of throwing the brick? Just to scare me?”

Kylo stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked off the drop of mustard that escaped his sandwich.

“It was a threat. Snoke must know that I'm aware of his identity. We haven't gone back to the restaurant, so that makes it kind of obvious that something happened.”

Rey laid back on the floor of the apartment and sighed.

“Am I ready? Are we ready?” she asked.

“We have to be,” Kylo replied. “And if we are finished eating, we should continue working on your mental strengths.”

Kylo offered Rey his hand to help her stand up; he released his wings and concentrated on reaching out. He picked up the bed with his mind and placed it gently back down. Rey stared at him with shock and awe.

“You'll be able to do that too, once you are able to release your wings. Once that happens, you will become so much more powerful. You will be unstoppable.”

“You mean _we_ will be unstoppable,” she said as she grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm.

“Yes my love.”

She brought his palm to her face and blushed when he rubbed his thumb along the apple of her cheek.

Rey reached out with her hand and concentrated. The chair that was pushed to the far end of the room rattled. Slowly the chair lifted off the ground and slammed back onto the floor. Rey huffed in annoyance.

“No Rey, that was fantastic.”

“I could barely hold it for even a second.”

“Patience, my love. You will get there.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

“We don't have time Ben, you said it yourself. Snoke is onto us. I can't help that I'm frustrated. I _need_ to be better.”

Her anger-- it was beautiful, and Kylo knew that any minute now, she would break through her shields and release her wings. Just a little more….

“Perhaps you shall stay here? If you aren't ready, I don't want to put you in unnecessary harm.”

“What?” she yelled.

And there was that fire in her veins, there was that look in her eyes, yes…

“You have to be mental if you think I'm going to let you do this on your own… you… you idiot. You can't always protect me Ben. You may have been my guardian angel but we are equals now. I don't need you to save me. Why-- why are you smirking at me?”

She was so livid that she hadn't noticed the moment a pair of beautiful white wings erupted from her back.

“What?” she said nervously.

“Sweetheart, your wings are lovely,” Kylo said with a smile.

“My… wings?”

She turned her head just the slightest bit to see her wings and her eyes widened. Tentatively she spread her wings and flapped.

Rey jumped into Kylo's arms and kissed him hard on the mouth, nipping at his full lower lip.

“Were you just goading me on to see if my wings would release?”

“I might have been,” he smirked again.

“You absolute ass.”

“Hey, it worked didn't it?”

She kissed him again, thrusting her tongue into his mouth and letting it slide against his. He groaned into her mouth.

Rey pulled away to catch her breath. Kylo loved the look of her kiss swollen lips, pink and slick with saliva.

“Can I fly?” she asked.

Kylo couldn't help the laugh that left his chest.

“Would you like to go flying?”

“You mean it's true, I can fly?” she asked. Her hands sinking into his wavy locks and tugging lightly.

“Yes, we can fly. Where would you like to fly to?”

Kylo let her fall out of his embrace and took her hand instead.

“Let's go to the roof and decide from there,” he offered.

Rey followed him out the door and up the stairwell to the roof of the apartment. It was already dark outside, the sun having set an hour earlier.

Kylo walked her over to the ledge of the building and pulled her close.

“You might want to hold onto me the first time,” he said as he swooped down to give her one last kiss.

“Wait, Ben, wait.”

He scooped Rey into his arms and leapt off the building. She looped her arms around his neck and gasped as he took flight.

They soared over the city and up into the clouds. Soon enough, Rey was spreading her wings and feeling the breeze on her feathers for the first time. And Kylo relished being the one to introduce her to flying.

Solemnly he wished they would have more time, as he thought about her vision and what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta Nori!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The parking lot to the restaurant was completely vacant. It gave off an eerie vibe, causing anxiety to swell in Kylo’s stomach. Rey looked at him questioningly as she turned the knob to the entrance. 
> 
> When the two of them walked into the diner, it was as if time had stopped. The entire restaurant was empty. Rey began running towards the kitchen, only to find it devoid of anybody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final confrontation.

As Kylo woke up the following morning, he gazed at Rey’s sleeping face. She looked so content in her sleep. He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly on the lips. Her eyes fluttered opened and she smiled up at him.

“Good morning,” she said sleepily.

“Good morning, love.”

Rey stretched her arms and legs before letting out a yawn.

“We really did that last night? I actually flew?”

“You did,” he smirked down at her. “We need to get up and get dressed. Luke will be here any minute now. He said he has a gift for you.”

Rey furrowed her brow as she disentangled their limbs.

“A gift?”

“That is what he said.”

She climbed out of the bed and walked swiftly to the bathroom. Kylo heard the water start in the shower. He rolled out of the bed and began getting dressed.

***

It wasn’t long before Luke materialized in the living area of the apartment. He had a saber hilt attached to his hip and another in his hand. Kylo went to the bedside table and opened the drawer. He grabbed his saber and latched it to his belt.

Rey exited the bathroom, pulling her wet hair into a bun. She was wearing a pair of black leggings and a long gray tunic overtop.

Kylo walked over to her and grabbed her hand. He pulled her into his chest and pressed a kiss to her temple.

Luke cleared his throat to gather their attention.

“Rey, I have a weapon for you. It was my father’s.”

He handed the saber hilt to her and she regarded it with awe.

“Well,” Kylo encouraged, “turn it on.”

She did as she was told, a blue light erupting from the hilt. Luke grabbed his saber and ignited the green blade.

“Alright you two, your training begins now.”

Luke ran forward and slashed his saber towards Kylo. He ignited his saber and parried the blow. Rey watched as the two of them sparred back and forth in the living area.

Soon enough, she was joining in. Her and Kylo fighting side by side against Luke.

Luke coached them as they sparred. “Faster, parry now, that's it. Stay alert.”

After a rigorous training session, Luke suggested that the three of them go to the restaurant. Their plan being that Rey and Kylo create a diversion while Luke incapacitates Snoke.

Kylo and Rey walked to the diner as Luke trailed behind them, giving them space to cause the distraction before he joins in their fight.

***

The parking lot to the restaurant was completely vacant. It gave off an eerie vibe, causing anxiety to swell in Kylo’s stomach. Rey looked at him questioningly as she turned the knob to the entrance.

When the two of them walked into the diner, it was as if time had stopped. The entire restaurant was empty. Rey began running towards the kitchen, only to find it devoid of anybody. Luke entered the restaurant and let out a disappointing sigh.

“Well, this is not good.” Luke mused.

“Now what do we do,” Kylo asked.

Rey started walking towards the back of the kitchen where the walk-in refrigerator was. She looked almost like she was in a trance. Kylo hurried after her as she continued to walk. Once she got to the refrigerator, she turned to look at Kylo, breaking the spell that had come over her.

“I’ve always had a feeling of apprehension whenever I was asked to retrieve something from this refrigerator. It almost felt muted. But now, I feel it so vividly.”

She opened the door and walked inside. Kylo and Luke followed behind her. The three of them were staring at what appeared to be a veil between their world and the realms.

Luke spoke up, “This is indeed a portal to the realms. It must have been Snoke’s reasoning for taking homage here. The restaurant is a point where the two worlds are able to converge. The veil between them are at their weakest. Once we activate the portal, we will be able to step into the realms.”

“How do we activate it?” Kylo asked as he looked around at the shelves of milk cartons and assorted condiments.

Rey walked forward, heading straight for the large light switch hidden at the back of the walk-in. She flipped it on without a second thought.

The portal began to activate, throwing them off balance as the small wall of the walk-in was transformed to a swirling black hole.

Rey pushed off the wall and walked straight through the portal, Kylo ran after her with Luke at his heels.

“Rey wait, you can’t just run off.” he yelled.

Once Kylo stepped onto the red soil of the realms, he looked around for any sign of Rey but didn’t see her anywhere. Luke seemed to have been separated from him as well. He walked through the fiery gates and searched for any sign of Snoke or Hux. If he had to, he would do this on his own. He would end this now.

A voice entered his mind, urging him to keep moving forward. Kylo knew the voice for what it was, it was Snoke.

He felt the crunch of the crimson surface underneath his feet as he walked through the ashen territories of Hell. Every bone in his body ached and his lungs felt like they were going to explode from the suffocating heat.

He continued on in his journey until he reached a stone castle. He felt a pull leading him inside. There was a winding black staircase that he started to go down. That same pull from before was reaching to him and leading him towards a cavern in the basement of the castle.

When he entered through the door, he saw Snoke sitting on his dais, Hux by his side.

“Welcome, Kylo Ren.”

Kylo cut him off before he could say anything else, “Where are Rey and Luke?”

“Currently? They are both walking around the grounds. You see, this castle is under a protection spell. Neither one of them can see or feel its existence. They are safe Kylo, and their safety will depend upon you.”

He furrowed his brow in confusion. His anxiety continued to swirl in his stomach.

“I want you by my side Kylo Ren. If you remain here with me, no hard will come to those that you love.”

Kylo closed his eyes at the enormity of what this would mean. His hands shook as he opened his eyes and met Snoke’s.

“Do we have a deal?”

Kylo was about to give his answer, about to sell his soul in order for Luke and Rey to remain safe-- when a loud clang rang out through the cavern.

“The castle has been breached.” Hux sniped.

“How is that possible? The spell wards off mortals and angels. How could somebody have breached that?”

Kylo felt his lips tug up into a smile. He knew how. His Rey is neither mortal or full blooded angel. She’s an anomaly.

He heard her footsteps as she took the stone stairs, walking down towards the cavern. When she appeared at the threshold, she looked like a beam of light. She was so bright, shining in the darkened room-- her wings were on full display as she stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked at Snoke with her chin held in defiance.

Snoke smiled wickedly when he looked at Rey in her angel form.

“Well, isn’t this interesting? Snoke chuckled. “Hux, take care of the girl. I have will handle Kylo Ren.”

Kylo’s body moved on its own accord, standing in front of Rey as a shield.

“No,” Kylo yelled as he ignited his sword. It flickered in his hand as Hux approached the two of them.

Kylo held the saber out in front of him, warning Hux not to take another step. Suddenly Hux stopped and gave the two of them a devilish smirk. Hux’s hand reached out as he used his power to feel the energies in the room.

“It’s true then?” he questioned Kylo.

“What is true?”

“She is with child.” Hux said.

_With child._ Rey was pregnant? He had gotten Rey pregnant? Kylo felt the shock rolling off of Rey, apparently it wasn’t something she had been aware of.

Kylo grasped onto Hux’s neck with an invisible choke hold. He squeezed as Hux gagged and gasped for breath. Kylo snapped Hux’s neck and threw him on the stone floor. Snoke looked up and gritted his teeth.

“Go Rey,” Kylo yelled. Ushering her up the steps as he followed closely behind. They made it out of the castle and back to the fiery gates at the front of the property. Kylo’s hand was on Rey’s lower back as he pushed her forward.

“We need to find Luke and get you out of her.” he said.

“I’m not leaving you Ben.”

“But--” he set his hand on her flat stomach, “our baby.”

“Needs his or her father.” she answered for him.

Kylo was about to argue further when Snoke appeared in front of them.

“As it seems, I am no longer in need of you Kylo Ren. I can take your spawn and twist them to will. And when your child is born I will no longer have a need for the girl. She will have a quick and painless death-- I can promise you that much.”

Snoke reached out and froze Rey where she stood. Kylo ignited his sword once more and began attacking Snoke. Each swipe of his saber hit bone but none of the hits seemed to do any damage to the being. Kylo kept swiping at Snoke, hoping that his persistence would pay off. Snoke must have tired of Kylo’s assault because suddenly he was rendered motionless. Snoke shot lightning out of his fingertips, giving Kylo an electric shock.

Snoke continued to shock him as he advanced. Kylo held his sword in his hand and gathered all of his strength to thrust it into Snoke’s chest. Kylo fell back onto his backside when a green blade erupted from Snoke’s stomach, mirroring Kylo’s red saber. The green blade extinguished as Snoke’s body crumpled on the floor. Luke was standing in Snoke’s place and looking at Kylo solemnly.

When Snoke’s body had collapsed to the ground, the invisible hold on Rey was released. She ran forward and cradled Kylo’s body. She began sobbing as he felt his eyelids get heavy. He knew-- this was the moment, this was how he was to die. He could only hope that she would make it through this. That she could go on-- for their child.

Rey looked up at Luke and begged for his help.

“Please, you have to help me. I can’t lose him. We can’t lose him,” she took Kylo’s hand and placed it on her stomach. “You have to pull through Ben.”

Kylo felt his life bleeding out of him. He knew it was time, the pain in his body has ceased and he was no longer hurting.

Her hands gripped his clothing as she ripped open his tunic, pulling it off of his body. Her warm embrace wrapped around him. The cold clammy feeling of death was slowly fading away as he felt his wounds begin to heal.

His eyes fluttered open as he met the red and puffy eyes of Rey. The tears slipped down her cheeks as she continued to cry. But now she was smiling broadly. Kylo felt as if his body was finally whole again. She pulled him into her arms and buried her face in his neck.

“I can’t believe I almost lost you,” she said as she kissed his neck and chin.

Kylo felt as Luke crouched beside of them. He grasped Kylo’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

“It would seem as if your girl here brought you back from death. And by doing that-- not only do you have your wings back, but your tattoo is gone. Do you know what that means?”

He shook his head, still trying to get his bearings on his near death experience.

“It means that you are truly Ben, again.”

“My Ben.” Rey said as she brushed the errant curls out of his eyes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “My Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta Nori! You have been amazing. 
> 
> And thank you to Shwtlee for really helping me get through this chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

Ben’s lips pressed heated kisses into Rey’s collarbone as he thrusted within her. Her beautiful body was laid out in front of him on the silky sheets of their large bed. Her hair framed her face on the pillow like a halo, and her wings were spread out across the mattress. Those beautiful white wings of hers.

He grasped her hip to hold her in place as he changed the angle of his thrusts. She was perfection in his eyes; those little gasping breaths, her pretty tits bouncing in time with his thrusts, her cheeks painted a beautiful rosy pink. _Beautiful_. And she belonged to _him_.

He ran his hands down her body, touching every inch of her soft, golden skin. And he couldn’t help but to capture her lips and nibble at her lower lip as he moved within her.

He sped up the pace of his thrusts, chasing the release that was building. Ben snuck a hand between their bodies and found her clit, rubbing it in circles until he felt her walls fluttering around him.

She clenched tightly around him, triggering his own release. He came inside. Bracing himself on his elbows above her, he kissed her deeply, passionately. Slowly he pulled out and wrapped her up in a tight embrace.

“I love you, I love you so much Rey.” he told her between kisses.

She giggled, “I love you too, shh, shh, don’t wake the baby.”

Their baby was sleeping in a bassinet in the corner of their room. Elijah was only three months old. Ben rolled out of the bed and walked over to the bassinet, watching the sleeping form of his son. Elijah let out little sighs and sucked on his tiny fist. His fluffy little white wings had sprouted just a month ago. In time, their son would learn to retract his wings.

“I think he’s hungry mama.” Ben replied.

Rey sat up in their bed and held her arms out beseechingly.

“Bring him here, please.”

He gathered up his tiny son in his arms and carried him to the bed where he joined Rey. Elijah was so tiny in his hands, so fragile. His son has the same dark, wavy hair that he has but he has Rey’s hazel eyes. He was the perfect combination of both of them.

Elijah sucked on his hand and started to cry. Ben handed him over to Rey who held him up to her breast to feed him. Elijah settled down and started to nurse, making contented little sucking sounds.

Ben crawled over and put his arm around Rey, kissing her on the cheek as she fed their son.

“You are beautiful, you know that?”

Rey blushed and stroked Elijah’s cheek and then brushed her hand down his little wings.

“You tell me everyday.” she smiled at him.

And it was true, he had. He loves telling her she’s beautiful especially when she was pregnant and whining about her body. He found her breathtaking, he loved the sight of her-- belly round with his child. And he had been the one to deliver their baby. He sent reassurance through their bond-- calming her as she pushed their son into existence. Even when she screamed in pain and cursed at him for _doing_ this to her. It was all worth it in the end. The first time he held his son in his hands, and the look of pure love in Rey’s eyes as he handed Elijah over to her.

Now they were living in the realms, for the time being at least. Rey wished to return to Earth once Elijah was old enough to control his wings.

Elijah pulled away from her breast with a content little sigh.

“You won’t be assigned a new charge, now that Liji is here and you are back to being a guardian?” Rey asked with unease.

He could see it written on her face, she was worried he would be forced to leave them.

“No, no, as far as I’m concerned you are still my charge. You and Elijah. And anyway, our part in defeating Lucifer has freed me from guardianship.”

“And what are we to do from here Ben?”

He leaned into her and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“We can do whatever it is you desire. We can travel the world. See all the places that you’ve wanted to visit. Anything that you want. We will do that.”

She smiled at that, running her finger along Elijah’s smooth cheek. He left out a little huff of breath and smacked his lips. Ben chuckled and reached over, grabbing his son’s little hand. Elijah’s hand wrapped around his finger and squeezed tightly.

“Where would you like to go first, what would you like to see?”

He looked down at her face, waiting for her answer. Rey shifted on the bed and handed the sleeping baby over to him. Elijah snuggled into his neck and Ben rubbed his little back as he settled down on Ben’s chest.

Rey stood from the bed and walked over to the closet, grabbing her robe and putting it on before returning to the bed. on before returning to the bed.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. I’ve never been and never thought I would get the opportunity to go.”

“Then we will go.” Ben said as he rose from the bed and gently placed Elijah in the bassinet.

***

They traveled the world, just like Ben had promised. Elijah had grown older and was able to retract his wings and control them while they traveled. He was a curious little toddler, one that needed to be watched at every turn.

One night, when they had returned to their home in the realms, Rey mentioned that she wanted to settle down. She explained that she wanted some stability for Elijah. Ben wanted nothing more than to settle down with her.

Luke married them the following week. Elijah crawled over and attached himself to Rey’s leg as they vowed to be together for the rest of their lives. She reached down and picked him up, his arms were already reaching out for her.

Luke pronounced them married and Ben leaned down to kiss Rey on the lips. Elijah reached his little hand up and grabbed Ben’s hair, tugging lightly. Ben pulled away from his _wife’s_ lips and pressed a kiss to Elijah’s forehead. His son kicked his legs and started sounding out “da-da.”

“Did he just say dada?” Ben asked in astonishment.

“I.. I think he did,” Rey said with a smile.

Ben grabbed Elijah and lifted him over his head, flying him around like the angel that he is.

***

Ben and Rey had both settled into their routines seamlessly. Rey worked both as a healer in the realms as well as a source for prophecy. When she had a vision, Luke would jot it down but often times he would have to remind them both that the future isn’t set in stone. Ben was living proof of that.

Ben became an archangel. No longer did he have to be a guardian. Yet, in his new role he often assigned guardians to their new charges. He sometimes had to travel without his family, and those times were the most lonely. He never liked to be gone longer than was necessary. It was fortunate that he only had to be away from them once or twice a year cycle.

He was returning home after one of his short three day trips. When he opened the door and walked in he was attacked by a rambunctious little six year old.

“Liji.” he smiled at his son, spinning him around in the entryway.

Rey walked out of the kitchen and met him in a few quick strides.

“I missed you.” she said, kissing his lips deeply.

They heard their son say _yuck_ before running off to his room. Once they were alone, Ben placed his hand on his wife’s growing stomach and dropped down to his knees. He rubbed her baby bumped and pressed a kiss it.

“And how is little miss doing here?”

“Haniela missed hearing your voice.” Rey replied.

Ben pressed his lips to Rey’s stomach. He began talking to his daughter, telling her what a wonderful mother she has and how he can’t wait to meet her.

He stood from the ground and scooped Rey up into his arms-- bridal style. Rey gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Ben, I can walk-- are you crazy.”

“I know you can walk love, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

He walked her to the bedroom and placed her gently on the bed. Ben left momentarily and came back carrying Elijah in his arms. They all climbed into the bed and snuggled together. Elijah fell asleep cuddled into Ben’s chest.

Ben looked over into Rey’s hazel eyes and smiled at her.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

She couldn’t hide the smile that crossed her face, that bright, sunny smile that he had become addicted to.

“I’m just happy.” she replied.

And his heart clenched at the confession. Gone were the days where she cried herself to sleep. Gone was the loneliness that tore them both apart. Finally, they had obtained what they had both always desired.

Belonging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Nori! I hope you guys enjoyed this story. It is bittersweet to be finished with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my amazing beta ns0241 you are the best <3
> 
> I have no idea how long this story is going to be. Could be two more chapters could be more? 
> 
> Comments are love! Please let me know if you like it. <3


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